


In Sickness and Hell

by BurningUpASunJustToSayHello



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: But he's slowly turning into Season 2 Dan so, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Lots of angst sorry, Lucifer being a mother duck, Sickfic, This is Season 1 Dan just fyi, Vomiting, deckerstar takes a lot of naps because they need a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7073290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningUpASunJustToSayHello/pseuds/BurningUpASunJustToSayHello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sickness never bothered Lucifer until it got ahold of Chloe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is Not on the List

There were lots of things Lucifer could think of doing at two in the morning: partying, barhopping, having a threesome, but not paperwork. Paperwork was definitely  _ not _ part of that list. 

Of course the only person who thought it could be part of the list sat across from him. 

Chloe sat curled up in the corner of his couch, pen in hand, finishing station paperwork. 

Around midnight she'd showed up at Lux, stack in hand, ready to invade Lucifer's evening. He hadn't even gotten an explanation as to why she was there. Just a simple  _ help me with this paperwork _ and here she was: papers strewn every which way like a crime scene of its own. The Detective made herself at home in his apartment faster than he could say no. Not that Lucifer _ minded _ Chloe lounging around his apartment. Had it  _ been _ anyone else Lucifer wouldn't have thought twice about saying no.

Two hours later they still sat in the same places, but now with more empty glasses surrounding them. Usually after a half hour of not moving Lucifer grew bored, but despite himself he’d been content to relax with the Detective. The whole thing reeked of domesticity, yet Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to completely hate it. It was still boring, but it was a comfortable boring.

Chloe clicked her pen, pulling Lucifer’s attention to her once again.

“Uh so do you remember any other wounds the vic had?” she asked, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. Lucifer took a sip of his whiskey, regarding the scene. He caught the strain in her voice and the all encompassing  _ offness  _ that radiated from her. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

This wasn’t normal Chloe behavior. He cocked his head to one side in attempt to get a read on her. Something was wrong with the Detective, whether he cared to admit it or not.  

“Are you alright, Detective?” 

Chloe stopped writing and met Lucifer's gaze. Her eyes looked tired; that was normal for the Detective. 

Her eyes narrowed but she brushed him off. “It's nothing, I just have a headache. At most I probably need like a Motrin or something.” 

Chloe waved a hand as if to dispel Lucifer's worry. He didn't miss the tightness in the movement. The Detective may be a good liar to most people, but the Devil wasn't most people. He saw right through her allusion. 

“ _Detective--_ come on,” He prodded. 

Chloe leapt up from her seat and began to pace. He noted that as a good thing; Lucifer could tell she was getting agitated. She was definitely lying, that simple motion told him enough. One of the Detective’s main tells was getting worked up over nothing. Just as long as Lucifer could keep her angry enough to spill he didn’t need to worry.

“No I'm fine it’s--” Chloe clapped a hand over her mouth. Lucifer watched as the blood drained from her face and her eyes grew wide. He slowly stood.

“Detective?” He took a step towards her. She shied away like a nervous animal. Lucifer could practically feel the anxiety radiate from her shaking form. He saw the way her focus snapped like a matchstick. Lucifer hated to say that Chloe looked like she'd seen a ghost.  _ Or the Devil _ his conscience sang. 

Whatever was going on with her, it wasn’t normal. And he and his big nose were going to get to the bottom of it one way or another. Lucifer just had to find the right button to push.

However, before he could she flinched. In a flurry of papers, Chloe bolted towards his master bath. Retching and coughing echoed after her footsteps. The unmistakable sound of Chloe getting sick all over his bathroom tile echoed throughout the apartment. It sent worry racking across Lucifer's body. He craned his neck trying to catch a glance of her.

“Detective!” 

More gagging ensured. 

“Oh bloody hell,” he mussed and hurried after her, his heart rate spiking to dangerous levels. 

Lucifer tried to avoid human sickness as a whole and stepping into the doorway, he was reminded why. His spotless white tile was speckled with small droplets of bile that lead like a nauseating trail of breadcrumbs to a vomiting Chloe. Their dark color sent immediate shivers down Lucifer’s spine. If he proved what he thought was wrong, Chloe could be in severe danger. 

Few things frightened Lucifer as much as seeing the Detective in danger. It was one new emotion he hoped he'd never experience ever again. Because even Lucifer was hardwired to fear, but his Father had never given him a reason to. Until now. Seeing Chloe choking on bile flipped a switch inside him. For once in his eternity, Lucifer feared.

He watched in horror as Chloe’s hair hung listlessly in her face while she gagged harder into the toilet bowl. From where Lucifer stood, he could see her white knuckle grip on the porcelain and cringed. As unpleasant as vomiting was, it wasn't the action that bothered him. The miserable horror that painted the Detective's features drove a stake through his soul harder than illness ever had.

Lucifer's mind screamed at him to rush in and comfort her, causing his panic to surface even more. This wasn't like one of his hungover one night stands throwing up in the bushes, he couldn't just fix it with Advil and water. In fact, Lucifer wasn't even sure what it was he was trying to fix.

“Oh bloody fucking hell.” He chastised himself again before padding into the master bath. Avoiding the spoiled spots of porcelain, he sunk down to sit next to Chloe. 

Chloe was curled around the toilet like it was her lifeline. Sympathy shot through Lucifer's veins. He shifted closer to her until they were a fingertip's length away and laid a hesitant hand on her back, hoping to offer some sort of comfort. Lucifer may not completely understand humans, but he  _ did _ understand humans liked touchy-feely things.

Chloe's small frame heaved under his touch as she coughed up more bile. Lucifer sighed and absentmindedly rubbed soothing circles across her back.

“Motrin my arse,” he chided softly. Lucifer thought that the Detective must hate every second of it. If there was one thing they had in common, it was resenting weakness. And his Father knows Lucifer had seen first hand that sickness was almost as deadly as love. Where humanity fell willing at the feet of love, sickness forced them into submission. It was as if their own bodies rioted against them and turned them vulnerable. The strenuous fight left their masks cracked. Lucifer knew all too well how many walls pain and pestilence brought down. His scars were living proof of the chips in his armor.

The Detective had reacted the same. Every wall Chloe cemented into place tumbled down and left her bare to him. Lucifer felt like if he held her too tight she would snap in half. Nobody had ever been this  _ raw  _ around him. 

He felt her tremble under his touch and massaged deeper when he realized she was trying not to cry. 

Lucifer felt helpless. He avoided emotions as best he could, especially the ones that involved tears. And Chloe looked another shade of green away from bawling. It terrified him. Lucifer didn't know  _ what _ he would do if she started crying.

_ Father damn it _ , he thought. If Chloe was crying then the world must be ending. She was strong in ways that awed Lucifer. 

Before her, nobody besides his Father had ever told him no. Then like the ray of stubborn sunshine she was, the Detective appeared in his life. Lucifer still couldn't wrap his head around why he savored her rejection so. There was the obvious turn on, but under that something different crackled. It ran hotter than lust and more intensely than any hunger that had ever gripped him. Seeing Chloe so weak made his defenses falter. Lucifer felt an unusual spark of tenderness flare up.

As gently as he knew how, Lucifer gathered up the loose strands of hair that hung in the Detective’s face.

Her hair was soft. Soft in a way that tickled his memories of handfuls of feathers. The worry in Lucifer’s stomach kicked. Lucifer shifted his gaze away in attempt to tame it. Something nagged at the back of his mind, commenting on how odd Chloe’s sudden sickness was and offering a diagnosis. Lucifer shoved the thought to the back of his mind but more kept bubbling up. What happened if she couldn’t be fixed? Nonsense, he told himself, she could and  _ would  _ get better.

Finally her coughing stopped and Lucifer's anxieties came to a screeching halt. His full attention returned to Chloe. He let her hair fall back into its original place but kept the hand on her back. The Detective shakily pried herself away from the toilet and Lucifer tightened his grip.

Chloe wavered on her knees before weakly crumpling against Lucifer. Against his own will, Lucifer found himself wrapping her up in his arms. The Detective slid into his lap almost eagerly. Her head buried itself into his chest, as if she was afraid to look at him. 

The same tender feeling that Chloe often brought him, surfaced once again. But Lucifer let it roll over him just this once; it brought him peace in the storm of emotions the sick woman in his arms conjured. 

“Look at me not the mess; it'll only make you sicker,” he soothed and moved to lay a protective hand on the back of her head.

“I ruined your bathroom,” she whispered. Her hands weakly grasped at Lucifer’s shirt.

The rasp in her voice made his breath catch. She was so ill and yet here she was, worried about his decor. Lucifer squeezed her tighter against him. “It doesn't matter.” 

Chloe curled into him with a pitiful moan. “You're alright,” he said. 

That was a lie. No-- he corrected himself-- it was a half truth. She  _ would  _ be alright  _ if  _ they made it to the hospital in time. Lucifer could only hope that they would. He calculated traffic times, calling an ambulance would be useless. 

He did a once over at the mess before all but confirming his theories. He hadn't gotten a good diagnosis from the few spots on the tile, but one look at the dark substance in the toilet bowl; Lucifer knew. Her vomit was the color of coffee grounds-- a telltale symptom of internal bleeding. He glanced around at a small puddle on the floor: it was dark red against the white. Headaches were just another item in a long list of symptoms. 

Panic rushed back into Lucifer’s senses. They had to leave immediately.

He tried to shift the Detective around, only making her crawl further into his lap. Lucifer gave her a reassuring squeeze. 

“Chloe I know you're hurting, and you have every reason to be, but I have to drive you to the hospital. You're bleeding internally.” 

She gave a weak affirmative.

As carefully as he could, Lucifer tucked an arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders. He stood up slowly so Chloe would have time to adjust to the pressure change. She was a ragdoll in his arms as they made their way out to the front room. Her head rested heavily against his chest.

Lucifer passed the couch where she'd tossed her leather jacket over the top cushions hours ago. With some effort, he snatched it up and hurried to the elevator.

They escaped Lux through the back door. Lucifer set Chloe in the passenger seat before throwing her jacket over her and hurrying to start the Corvette. Despite his overwhelming terror, he prayed to Father that his newly detailed car would last the trip. What could he say; replacing leather was expensive. 

The drive to the hospital was a blur. Terror gripped Lucifer's soul as he sped through the downtown streets, breaking every speed limit in a three mile radius. The manic fear was new to him. Lucifer's vocabulary didn't have the word rush embedded into it despite the fact that he always found himself in danger. Lucifer was the face of calm in disaster. There had never been a time when fear made him jittery or a dangerous situation made him rush. Now, weighing Chloe's life in his hands, he was flitting around trying to beat an invisible countdown. Rush was now a word he was quickly becoming acquainted with.

The car screeched into the hospital parking lot, undoubtedly leaving skid marks in its wake. Lucifer had all but haphazardly put the Corvette in park before rushing to gather the Detective.

Luckily for his Italian leather, Chloe hadn’t thrown up since they left. In fact, she’d been completely silent through the whole affair. After looking at her curled up in the passenger seat, Lucifer didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He picked her and her jacket up in his arms once more before rushing towards the ER doors.

“I ‘ave to pick up Trixie f’rm school ‘morrow,” she slurred into his shoulder. Her eyes struggled to stay open.

Lucifer gripped her tighter as if she might turn to dust in his arms. “I know, I’ll arrange something for you. I need you stay conscious right now.” 

His pace quickened just shy of a run and they leapt up onto the sidewalk. He had to get there before she passed out completely.

The cool morning air tried to calm Lucifer’s senses, but all Lucifer could see was Chloe's exhausted body. He tried to jostle her around to keep her just awake enough to soothe his nerves, but not enough to upset her stomach.

Lucifer skidded through the automatic doors, eyes flashing under the dim fluorescent. He ran to the receptionists desk, startling the tired secretary. Lucifer tried to stamp down the panic in his voice as he spoke.

“I'm not sure what to do, she started vomiting blood and-”

The receptionist cut Lucifer off with a raised finger. His arms were shaking so badly Lucifer thought he might drop Chloe. He felt like he was fearing enough for the both of them. It took every ounce of self control not to snap at the other woman. Her tranquil demeanor was putting him off even more.

“--Will take her immediately.” the woman’s voice cut in.  Lucifer shook his head, trying to recall the first part of her sentence.

A nurse swam into his field of vision, hands outstretched. She gestured to hand Chloe over to the man that materialized beside him. Lucifer felt like he was swimming; the nurses’ forms wavered in front of him. He’d never felt so weak in his life. Reluctantly Lucifer allowed the other nurse to whisk Chloe out of his arms.

Dread crawled up his throat as Lucifer stared at his empty hands. Even though Lucifer knew that the hospital would try and help Chloe, he couldn’t get past the fear they wouldn’t.

In a desperate attempt to calm his emotions, his head whipped around, desperately searching for Chloe's limp body. Maybe if he could see her one last time it would help the shaky feeling pass. Lucifer’s eyes darted around the lobby. The Detective’s golden hair caught his eye as she was being carried further away from him. He watched numbly as the pair swept through another set of doors, leaving him alone in the lobby.

Lucifer wanted to run after the nurse, but his feet were rooted to the ground. He wanted to run, scream, _anything_ that would ensure he could see Chloe again.  As one panicked thought after the other piled on his conscience, Lucifer began to fall apart. He felt like the floor was plunging under his feet. He thought Hell itself might come and drag his sorry ass back down. 

“Sir?” a hand gripped his shoulder. Lucifer glanced down to find the receptionist tugging on his sleeve. “Um you may wait here for her if you'd like. If I could just get some information--” she handed him a stack of papers. 

Lucifer composed himself enough to nod dimly. As of in a dream, he sat heavily in a chair. He couldn’t remember where it had come from but he welcomed it all the same. Something soft fluttered across his lap and it took a minute for Lucifer to process it. Chloe's jacket he concluded, he still had Chloe's jacket. He gripped the soft leather as if it would bring her back to him. The room spun around Lucifer as he held the jacket tighter.

Chloe’s lingering perfume was sobering. His pulse began to slow and his emotions were settling down. He inhaled deeply and cast his gaze on the first form. Lucifer took a pen from his pocket and began signing his first of many signatures of the night with a flourish.


	2. Pettiness Makes the World Go 'Round

It had been four hours since Dan had gotten the call from the hospital. One hour since he dropped Trixie off at school; and it had taken only two minutes to  notice a familiar face lounging in the hospital’s waiting area. 

Dan had strode through the doors with faked confidence that only came with being on the police force. Internally his fears were eating him alive. He didn’t know when Chloe had been admitted or even  _ why _ . Dan had never had the most active imagination, being a cop and all, but that phone call was starting to run away with it. The woman on the other line would only tell him that Chloe was still in surgery and that they would know more when she came out. Basically useless.

So here he was, striding up to the receptionist’s desk doing the one thing he was good at: research. 

“Can you tell me any information on Chloe Espinoza-Decker please?” he asked the woman at the desk. A flash of hurt went through him knowing full well that Chloe had probably entered herself under Decker instead of Espinoza.

_ Separated  _ he told himself,  _ not divorced.  _ In the back of his mind, Dan knew that would change. Especially after the whole Malcolm deal. He knew both of them were biding their time with the divorce documents for Trixie’s sake.

The receptionist looked him over. “May I ask your relation?”

“I’m her…” Dan hesitated; the receptionist glanced up. “Husband.” he finished with an inward cringe. 

Something Dan couldn’t read flickered across the woman’s face. Her eyebrows shot up in either surprise or confusion-- he couldn’t pin it. Despite her unsettling reaction, the secretary poked at a few keys on the keyboard.

“Ms. Decker went into surgery four hours ago. There hasn’t been any further updates on her condition, I’m sorry.” she reported with clinical precision. 

Dan’s heart sank. Before he could ask anything else she interrupted him. “You may sit and wait for her to get out if you’d like.” 

With a short  _ thank you  _ Dan stomped towards the empty chairs that made up the waiting room. Empty  _ would _ have been a good word if a certain LAPD consultant wasn’t taking up residence in the middle chair.  

Dan couldn’t help the scoff that rose in his throat at the sight of the man. Lucifer Morningstar may have bought his lawyer and saved him from a prison sentence, but he was still the asshole who was trying to sleep with his wife. One semi-decent deed didn’t make up for being an arrogant prick in Dan’s book.

After all, Lucifer  _ was  _ to blame for his impending divorce. If he’d never encouraged Chloe to go digging into Palmetto then Chloe and Dan might have reconciled. But  _ no _ . Lucifer swept in, Armani and ninja bartender in tow, and unearthed years worth of discord.

Dan all but ran his last step towards the club owner. He sat in the uncomfortable-looking hospital standard chair as if it were a wing back throne. Legs crossed and back straight, Lucifer looked like he ran the place.The confidence that radiated off of his posture made Dan hate Lucifer more. 

“What can I do for you Daniel?” Lucifer questioned irritably, not so much as glancing up from the pen in his hands. Dan suppressed the shiver that ran down his spine. The club owner wasn’t necessarily the most intimidating person Dan had ever met, but he definitely had his moments. If there was one thing that  _ did  _ bother him about Lucifer it was that he was like a ghost. He always knew  _ you _ were there, but you didn’t always know  _ he  _ was there.

“Why are  _ you _ here?” Dan couldn’t help the sneer welling up in his voice. He did not have time for Lucifer’s shit today. He just wanted to check on Chloe and get to work.

Lucifer finally met Dan’s glare with one of his own. Only then did he notice that the club owner was in the same clothes as yesterday. Somewhere during the night he’d ditched the suit vest and now remained in the white dress shirt and slacks. Lucifer had also left his sleeves rolled, although they looked...messy. In fact, that wasn’t the only thing that was off.

Not only was Lucifer in the same clothes, which Dan assumed was considered its own brand of felony, said clothing was  _ wrinkled.  _ It seemed like a silly detail but a man as put together as Morningstar didn’t just “forget” to iron. Dan thought he even saw what could only be identified as a blood stain on his right shoulder.

“Uh, you okay man?” He amended. Dan may still hate the guy, but he wasn’t going to watch him suffer. Unlike the guy in question, he still had a shred of decency. If something was truly wrong with him and he was here for a legitimate reason, Dan wasn’t going to be a dick about it.

Lucifer rose from his seat, drawing himself up to his full height. “Well aren’t you just a smorgasbord of emotion this morning.” He teased. He grabbed a paper cup off of the coffee table and stepped around Dan. “What should I expect next, you hurling magazines like some heartbroken mistress?” 

The club owner then wandered over to the coffee machine and fiddled with the buttons. The sludge the hospital called coffee quickly drained into Lucifer’s cup. Dan didn’t know how to answer him or even work up to his knowledge of Chloe’s hospitalization.

“While I am flattered by your silence, Daniel, I believe it to be customary to answer someone when they’re speaking.” Lucifer said sarcastically and shot Dan a look.

“Why are you here?” Dan finally managed.

He blew the steam off his coffee. “I thought the secretary would have told you. As you know the Detective is currently in surgery,” he paused and took a sip of his drink, making a face afterwards. “This is bloody awful, no wonder that poor woman at the front desk looks tired all the time. Goodness me, I think the gutter empties into this machine.”

“ _ Lucifer.”  _ Dan barely managed to keep the irritation out of his voice. It may have been childish but he rolled his eyes for good measure. 

Lucifer shrugged and grabbed a new cup, repeating his process again before finishing his previous statement. “I brought Chloe in.” 

Dan couldn’t stop his eyes from growing to the size of saucers. He’d gotten the call around three in the morning; why did _Lucifer_ bring _his wife_ to the hospital at three in the morning? Why did Chloe even call _him?_ Dan was her husband, separated or not. He saw red with jealousy. Chloe trusted a  playboy over him now, no wonder she was in the hospital. 

His jaw clenched, resisting the overwhelming urge to punch Lucifer’s perfect face. He’d never been this pissed off since he’d suspected of Chloe sleeping with that asshole. 

“ _ Excuse  _ me?” he seethed. 

“She threw her entails up all over my tile so it seemed appropriate to get her looked at.”

Lucifer said it like Chloe was a dog he’d drug back to the pound. Dan’s frustration grew as Lucifer seemed unaffected by the whole situation. What did Chloe  _ see  _ in this dick? She might be dying and he was concerned about his  _ tile. His  _ tile. She hadn’t called him, she was already there. Oh Chloe had really gone off the deep end now. Dan could just imagine Lucifer finally charming her into bed and abandoning her for another blonde floozy the next day.

Worse yet,  _ Trixie  _ even liked Lucifer. His own daughter treated Lucifer as if he were her second father. Even after he shoved her off countless times, Trix still adored the guy. It was like Dan was slowly being shoved out of the picture and Lucifer was being pasted in. He frowned in disgust.

Lucifer wasn’t fazed by his obvious display of jealousy, though. He rummaged through his pockets intently, clearly paying more attention to whatever useless thing he needed. To Dan’s surprise, Lucifer took a teabag from his pocket and dropped it into his empty cup. The nonchalance of it made him even more irritated. Dan couldn’t help but watch as the poster boy for alcoholism filled his cup with water. Lucifer’s eyebrows raised in Dan’s direction. The detective stood there stupidly taking in the scene. The only thing Dan had ever seen Lucifer drink was alcohol. He blinked a few times to get over the initial shock.

“ _ Maybe,”  _ Dan started up again, “You should have just left my  _ wife  _ alone.”

Lucifer smirked and sipped his tea. “Well then isn’t it just a marvelous thing you two are getting divorced then? You won’t have to worry about “your wife coming to my flat” nonsense anymore.”

Dan’s hands clenched into fists and took a step in Lucifer’s direction. “You’re so lucky we’re in public or I would knock you out.”

Lucifer’s smile broadened. “Mm well I always did like violent foreplay, you know Maze--” Dan finally interrupted him, his fury almost bubbling over. 

“You can leave now or I’ll deny you access to her room.”

In that instant, Lucifer’s face changed. The shadows around him seemed to grow and bend to his will as his smile slowly fell. His eyes seemed to darken with calm anger as he covered the distance in between them in three long strides. The plastic cup had somehow disappeared from his hand. Lucifer towered over Dan like he’d never had before. Dan couldn’t help but feel shrunk down. He would be lying if he said Lucifer wasn’t terrifying when upset. He’d heard from Chloe that he threw someone through a plate glass window because he was _irritated._ Dan didn’t want to be the one to figure out what happened when he was truly pissed off. 

“Oh Daniel,” he purred sweetly, “You don’t want to do that. I know that hungry look in your eyes. You’re standing here wondering where were you when your, mm  _ wife,  _ was vomiting in some other man’s bathroom. You’re wondering why she didn’t call  _ you,  _ why did she let another man comfort her instead. You want to know in that sorry little brain of yours if she so much as mentioned your name when I carried her into the ER. We both know that it’s jealousy that’s bubbling under your skin, Daniel. So let me clarify. The only name she called out was Beatrice’s and the only person who heard it was me.”

Dan flinched as Lucifer pulled away. The teasing edge his voice had taken since the beginning of their interaction had been wiped clean like his blank face. The only speck of emotion laid in Lucifer’s eyes. His black eyes bore so deep into Dan’s soul that he had to turn his gaze to the floor. Something in Lucifer hand caught Dan’s eye.

It was a jacket; and one Dan recognized. 

“That doesn’t belong to you.” Dan gestured weakly. Lucifer followed his line of sight, subconsciously tightening his grip. 

“I believe it does,” Lucifer growled, eyes flashing. 

Dan saw something snap in Lucifer’s features, but refused to balk at it. He was finally going to give this lunatic a piece of his mind. Lucifer paraded around Chloe like a peacock, dangling sex and money under her nose, and now he felt entitled to her clothing? Not only was that the most possessive display Dan had ever seen, it was petty and he wouldn’t stand by it. Chloe may not see the trouble, but Dan did. He wasn’t about to let his blind wife get tied to some control freak psychopath.

Dan figured two could play at that game. “As her hus--” 

Lucifer laughed bitterly. “My, my can you even hear yourself over your ego?”

“ _My_ ego?”  That’s it, he was going to deck this guy. Dan sized Lucifer up, ready to take a swing when a voice sounded behind them.

“Um, excuse me,” The two men whirled around to find the secretary holding a few papers. Her hands were shaking slightly, as if she didn’t want to be in the middle of their ordeal. “Mr. Morningstar, if you could, we have just a few more forms for you.”

Dan watched Lucifer transformed from angry to tired as he threw on his mask for the woman. He was all bright and sultry smiles as he turned to address her. Eyes narrowing, Dan was painfully reminded just how two-faced Lucifer could be. 

“Thank you darling,” Morningstar chirped.

He brushed past Dan and into the same seat he had been occupying when the detective came in. Obviously he didn’t even need his height to look down on people.

“A ‘few more’? So not only are you stealing her clothes you’re doing Chloe’s paperwork now?” Dan said in disbelief.

Lucifer raised a brow and went back to scribbling his signature on the papers. “You seem awfully concerned about the petty things rather than the Detective’s health.” Lucifer flipped a page and muttered on. “I know exactly what’s wrong with her, but nobody bothered to ask, did they?”

Dan pointed an accusing finger at Lucifer. “Bullshit you took her to the hospital because she puked. What, couldn’t you handle a little bedside manners or would that ruin your tile too?” 

Lucifer stiffened and cocked his head at Dan. The same dark look from before crossed back over the planes of his face with startling speed. With his voice perfectly level, yet all the more lethal, he announced “More like I couldn’t handle watching her suffer while she vomited up blood.”

“ _ Blood?”  _ Dan’s face paled. The surgery was making a little more sense now.

“Yes, blood!” Lucifer snapped, “If you would have  _ listened  _ instead of rudely jumping to conclusions then you would know that we’re here because Chloe has internal bleeding.”

That stopped Dan in his tracks. He stood starstruck in front of Lucifer, gaping. Out of all of the possibilities his mind ran through, internal bleeding had never crossed it. Wait, he thought, how did it cross  _ Lucifer’s  _ mind then?

“...How do you know?” 

He held up three fingers ticking them off as he went, “Headache, dizziness, blood in vomit. All of which are symptoms for internal bleeding. Taking into account that the Detective bruised a rib last week it’s the only logical answer.” 

_ Oh  _ was the only reply Dan could manage. Mentally, he ran Lucifer’s conclusion through his mind, trying to find a fault; only coming up short. As much as he hated saying it, Lucifer was probably right. Just as he was about to give into Lucifer’s ego, his phone rang. 

_ Thank God,  _ he silently sent his blessings to whoever was watching over what little dignity he had left.

Lucifer perked up in mock interest while Dan fumbled through his pockets. The darkness still spilled plainly over his face, making its sharp edges look deadly.

“This is Detective Espinoza.” he chirped, trying not to sound too relived. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Lucifer listening intently; his trademark smirk spreading across his face.

“Dan, this is Tali from HR, Mrs. Monroe wants you in her office in fifteen.” a high voice came from the receiver. 

Dan sighed hoping she didn’t notice it. When he said he wanted to be saved from Lucifer he didn’t mean leaving. Whatever, he thought, the Man Upstairs just works in ironically awful ways. Great now he was starting to sound like the nutjob sitting five feet away from him. Maybe he did need to take a break from trying to check up on Chloe. It was obvious that Lucifer wasn’t leaving any time soon and he’d rather go to work then sit here another hour with him.

“Yeah I’ll be there,” he said and hung up.

Lucifer’s smile broadened expectantly, baring the shark-like teeth at lay beneath as he leaned forward in his chair.

As Dan stuffed his phone back to its rightful place, he rolled his eyes. With one last sharp look at the playboy, he made his way back to the doors. 

As he made his way through the parking lot he finally noticed the fresh skid marks burned in the asphalt. His brown eyes tracked them back to a startling owner: Lucifer’s Corvette. 

How he missed seeing the classic monstrosity when he first showed up is beyond him. It obviously looked like he’d been in a rush to park. He guessed Lucifer really  _ was  _ capable of actions that didn’t just benefit him. Whatever triggered them was something Dan wished he knew; that way he might actually knock some sense into him.

Before Dan had left, he’d seen another spark of emotion feathering Lucifer’s eyes. It was muddled so Dan couldn’t completely make it out. All he knew is that he’d never seen the expression on Lucifer before. Seeing the skid marks added a little sense to the situation. Maybe Lucifer wasn’t being a drama queen for once. No, Dan convinced himself, impossible _.  _ Lucifer was  _ always  _ a drama queen.

Dan gave one last sad shake of his head, wondering what Chloe was thinking before getting in his car and driving off.

  
  
  
Not an hour later Lucifer Morningstar received news that Chloe Decker had come out of surgery. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go, this got out much sooner than expected. You can thank my beta go-away-dan for that (I was forced to finish this chapter against my will). So what'd you guys think; do you side with Dan or Luci? And most of all: who was pettier?


	3. Throw a Rave and Drink Excessively

Ever since he’d came to Earth, Lucifer had been enticed by the sheer vividness of it. From the glittering skyscraper windows to the way the streetlights reflected off the pavement, Lucifer was in love.

It wasn’t the lights themselves, but what they represented: life. Whether it was driving until they felt like flying or being on the floor for a concert, humans experienced the gift of life like no other.

Heaven was shiny for sure, but it had never felt alive. Not even Hell could match Earth’s glitzy coat of carelessness.

In the short time Lucifer had been in LA, he’d discovered a certain freeness among the city streets. He himself felt lighter, but could never achieve what his club patrons did. No, that type of freedom was reserved for mortals only. With that freedom came a way to somehow drown the world in rich color. And the more colorful their world, the closer to death they seemed. That’s why they kept their lights burning bright, Lucifer concluded, to blind themselves from the truth.

The hospital room was dull in comparison, shattering that belief in an instant. Never had he ever seen death look this...boring. The same clean shade of what could only be described as hospital- white, filled every nook and cranny. 

Not even Heaven enjoyed being surrounded with such a depressing color. And yes, white was the most depressing of them all.

To humans it was black, but to Lucifer it had to be white. There was an emptiness to it that made him uneasy. He’d seen it most in the lilies on coffins. It was a color that was nothing and everything all at the same time. He had always said those with the most color in their lives were the closest to death, but those with a bleached life were empty.  

To him, white was reserved for only Hell itself.

Lucifer stared thoughtfully at the bland white bed sheets that encased Chloe. She lay lifeless as the tubes and needles that the doctors had stuck in her buzzed angrily. Even her California tanned skin was pale, as if the blood was still seeping out of her. His stomach churned; she looked dead already.

Every aspect of human life had been sucked up by the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the eggshell walls. What few lights the room did have were listless fluorescent bulbs that cast sickly shadows on the Detective’s sharp features. 

Lucifer shifted in his seat. He’d never felt so tired in his entire eternity. Around six in the morning he’d drifted off from pure exhaustion only to wake up in a cold sweat a half hour later.

Images of a dying Chloe swam through his dreams, quickly turning them to nightmares. He’d ran through the shadows of his mind, racing an invisible clock, desperately following her screams. When he’d finally located her, Lucifer hadn’t been able to make out any color other than red. Scenes of the crimson staining her cherry lips and the scarlet dripping down his shirt were enough to push him to fight sleeping again.

After that Lucifer forced cup after cup of dreadful tasting coffee down his throat in order to buzz him enough to make it through the next hour. Each sip made him wish harder that it would change into whiskey. To Lucifer’s disappointment, turning things into alcohol was one gift he  _ had not  _ inherited from his Father. 

And if the wait had wore him down, then his run-in with Dan drained him of all energy. It had taken every ounce of Lucifer’s self control not to smite the man where he stood. The detective’s sheer pettiness alone was enough to set Lucifer on edge. How could the man be so _blinded_ by jealousy to not even care enough to ask how the Detective was? That told Lucifer that Dan cared, but not about the right things.

Dan was far too obsessed about his “wife” being around Lucifer to actually care for her well-being. Call him a hypocrite, but at least-- in Lucifer’s mind--  _ he _ was setting aside his pride for this one. He had even been kind enough to call him by his name this time. Not that Dan had noticed anyways. He was too absorbed in his tizzy with Chloe being at Lucifer’s flat. 

And that damn  _ jacket fiasco _ .  _ Father above,  _ Lucifer was about to  _ strangle  _ him had the secretary not interrupted.

The way he barged into the hospital, four hours after the phone call Lucifer might add, and going about demanding things that were never his. Of course, the jacket wasn’t Lucifer’s either, but after Chloe went into surgery it felt like his only connection to her.

Lucifer glanced fondly at said jacket draped over the chair next to him and his lips turned up in a ghost of a smile. He reached over to toy with one of the soft leather sleeves.

After her original jacket had bitten the dust during a case, Lucifer had gone out and bought Chloe a new one. He’d gotten it as close to the first one as he could, even going as far as taking it to his tailor and having them fit her exact measurements. His favorite feature was the red inside lining; a small homage to his red-soled shoes. All of this was done unbeknownst to the Detective of course.

After all what would be the point of a gift if it wasn’t a surprise?

Then the following day he presented her with it.  _ Think of it as an “I’m sorry for almost getting you killed” gift,  _ he’d told her.

At first she declined it, saying it was too expensive to give to her, but then Lucifer convinced her to try it on. 

The moment Chloe zipped it up, Lucifer knew she would never take it off. Her eyes roved lovingly over the soft leather and he melted when she met his eyes. She wore it the rest of the day and then the next; and then the one after that until soon enough the jacket was never returned to him. 

Lucifer saw her eyes soften every time she put it on. And  _ Father  _ was that look was so mind-numbingly addictive. 

Lucifer sighed, sagging back into his chair. Thankfully nobody had bothered him since Dan had left two hours ago. The nurses fawned over him, assuring that Chloe would wake up soon and fetching him the good coffee from the cafeteria. Each time they came by, every single one of them asked if he needed anything and recommending sleep when he declined.

Normally Lucifer would thrive under all of their affectionate stares, but now he felt weighed down by them. He hadn’t bothered to try and charm them any more than he had to. In fact, he found that as long as he looked like some kicked puppy, the nurses gave him whatever he desired. Lucifer would have liked the idea more, if he didn’t feel like being sick himself. Undoubtedly the bubbles of anxiety popping in his stomach were not supposed to mix with rapid caffeine intake.

Lucifer quickly found that out after his fourth cup as the anxious jitters set in. And he guessed that coffee wasn’t the only contender either.  When he pulled his phone out to text Maze about arranging something for Beatrice, his hands shook. So badly, he almost couldn’t finish it. They hadn’t stopped, like he thought they would, when the nurse brought him to Chloe’s room. No matter how hard he tried to pull himself together, Lucifer continued to shake. 

Now he sat at her bedside, afraid if he got up to pace she would never wake up. Lucifer kept his arms firmly crossed to stop the nervous tremors that still ravaged his body. A small part of him wanted to just  _ touch  _ her to make sure she was real. But the realistic part of him knew the Detective's body was basically a walking biohazard sign.

That part of his mind made Lucifer  _ very  _ aware that said biohazard could kill him at any time.

After this was over, Lucifer was going to drink  _ both  _ of his bars dry  _ and then _ throw a rave. Or maybe he’d have the rave first and have Maze free-pour all night. Whatever was going to ensure he forgot this awful feeling was what he was doing first.

Yes, he thought, rave first, drink excessively later and after that he could-- wait what was that? 

In the corner of his eye, Lucifer caught a flutter.

Chloe shifted under the sheets causing his heart to shutter. Lucifer eagerly leaned on the edge of the bed, barely able to keep still. Despite himself, a smile crept out from the corners of his mouth. 

Chloe’s nose scrunched in her sleep and Lucifer felt a chill slice through him. 

Her brows knitted together and her frown deepened, as if she was angry at being awake so soon. 

The Detective moved again, sharper this time. He saw her eyes flicker under their lids. Lucifer cocked his head in confusion. He knew Chloe would sleep  _ forever  _ if he let her, but something was...different this time. 

There was a hard crease at the bridge of her nose that he only ever saw when she was flustered. Chloe’s peaceful slumber was interrupted yet again as she shifted back and forth on the pillow like she couldn’t get comfortable again.

Lucifer leaned closer.

No, shifting wasn’t the right word it was more like  _ struggling. _

Lucifer felt lightheaded--had to room always been this hot? Fear’s suffocating grasp wrapped itself around his throat. He racked his brain trying to generate an answer for her behavior.

All while Chloe continued to thrash in her linen restraints, the heart monitor alerted the room of her rapid heart rate change as the other machines hummed in agreement. Lucifer looked on in increasing horror; her blank expression had been replaced with the haunted mask of his nightmares.

The smile slowly melted off of  Lucifer’s face. He’d seen her wake up from anesthesia before and it was _not_ this.

Chloe wasn’t waking up, she was panicking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah huge thanks to my beta, because I work her to the bone.


	4. Annabell Lee

When Mazikeen got the text, a saccharine smile split across her features. The smile, which would have made other women appear sexy, gave Maze’s beautiful features a sadistic edge that made the shadows of Lux shudder. 

Lucifer seemed to be in the rare gifting mood today. 

After the first flurry of texts regarding the Detective's child, her Lord had been silent. 

Maze, despite herself, was excited to spend more time with Beatrice. At first, she’d rolled her eyes at the awful fuzzy feeling because  _ honestly  _ how human was she going to  _ get?  _ But now she found herself enjoying the child’s presence.

In Hell to be human was a sin in itself, but on Earth it was celebrated. Feelings weren’t something her Lord had created her with. In fact, it was a feat that Lucifer gave her any personality at all. 

Maze couldn’t comprehend human emotion until they went topside, and even now, they were messy. She could grasp the concept of things like lust and rage, as they were the foundation of all things Hell, but the purely  _ human  _ ones were difficult. 

There were things like love that somehow was a type of lust; and jealousy, which stemmed from love  _ and  _ lust. They made Maze dizzy just thinking about their complexity.

But the worst of all was free will.

Maze was created without free will. Every aspect of her eternity was devoted to Lucifer and his needs. That loyalty was something Maze had clung to like a dying man. Her proximity to Lucifer allowed her to avoid some of Hell’s more... _ unsavory  _ tasks.

But even though she was the closest out of Hell’s inhabitants to freedom, it had a catch. Maze was able to do as she pleased until her Lord called upon her, then her existence was dedicated entirely to him.

It wasn’t until they went topside that Maze began to question the fine print of her freedom. Seeing humans go about their lives, controlled only by their own fates, shocked her. The world should have plunged into chaos without order, but it somehow managed to scrape by with unbridled discord. 

Souls in Hell were so jumbled together it was hard to tell one apart from another. They were just one big tarnished mass. Souls on Earth, however, were...unique. Their worlds were so full of color and light that at first Maze couldn’t stand to be outside Lux. But then as she found herself coloring, she too found it harder to obey Lucifer.

For the longest time a pit sat in her stomach like a lead weight. It grew heavier as she watched Lucifer change. A piece of her wanted to break away from her Lord and run until everything was completely foreign. Maze felt the pull of human temptation just like Lucifer did. 

She had been sitting, toying with her loyalties and a bottle of bourbon to keep her company until she had to go get the child.

After their falling out over his brother, Lucifer and Maze never looked at each other the same way. It was the petty  _ humanness _ of it that drove her insane. 

So when her phone pinged, Maze couldn’t fight the relief that washed over her. 

Now reading the text with her killing grin set in place, Maze remembered why she was chained to Lucifer in the first place. 

Downing the bottle and casting it aside, she reached for her knives. Feeling their smooth weight in her palms, Maze purred. The cool metal sung its approval as their owner spun them. It had been too long since her last hunt.

She shoved her phone back into her pocket with Lucifer’s orders still frozen on the screen:

_ Why don’t we start keeping tabs on the Douche, Mazie?  _

  
  
  


The moment Lucifer realized Chloe was panicking, he realized  _ he  _ was panicking too. 

Everything was going to Hell. The finely tuned calm he’d been keeping locked down was beginning to boil over.

His hands trembled harder and his heart slammed against his ribcage. In the small room, Lucifer felt his shirt collar constrict tighter around his neck. A pair of phantom hands held him in the chair. He needed to get  _ out.  _ Out of this room, out of this bloody hospital, out of this  _ helplessness.  _

Lucifer needed to  _ do  _ something. He had to  _ fix this.  _ But how? Lucifer wrung his hands, trying to help his jitters.

Chloe tangled in her sheets, still trying to escape an invisible specter. Her face contorted into a mask of suffering. She struggled against her tubes and needles like they were ropes binding her to the mattress. 

“Chloe?” he yelped.  

Her name had broken the spell over Lucifer. Quickly he shoved himself to his feet, but stumbled when he found them shaking almost as bad as his hands. Lucifer felt his muscles tighten rapidly.

He couldn’t breathe.  _ Oh Father he couldn’t breathe.  _

Frantically Lucifer tried to draw in deep breaths to calm himself down. His lungs felt shallow. Every time he took another breath, the oxygen seeped out so quickly he thought he might be suffocating. 

Lucifer needed to get a grip. The thought continued to poke at his conscience, unraveling him even further. 

He never freaked out, the Devil  _ doesn’t  _ freak out. The only people who flipped their shit like this were forty year old housewives who found out their husbands had a younger mistress. Lucifer obviously  _ did not  _ fall into that category. 

Here he was, doing the exact thing he said he’d never do. Oh how fate was a bitch. 

He was in no way, shape, or form able to comfort her. Lucifer couldn’t even take care of himself right now, there was no way he could support someone else. But if he didn’t then who would? If he hit the call button then he’d be a coward. How could he live with that? Lucifer would be in the nurses’ debts if it came to that. And he knew how greedy those nurses were; Grey’s Anatomy at least got  _ that _ aspect of hospital life correct. 

With an irritated snarl, Lucifer crept closer to her bedside. Over the shrieks of the machines, Chloe made a horrified sound that sent shivers running down his spine.

By now she had somehow successfully thrown the blankets off of herself. Lucifer feared that if she thrashed around any harder, she’d rip the IV from her hand. 

Then what would happen?  _ Chloe would dehydrate and die that’s what,  _ the voice in the back of his head sang.

Lucifer tried to swallow the lump of anxiety in his throat. His fingers itched for a cigarette or maybe ten. 

As if his brothers had slowed time, Lucifer reached for the Detective. 

What would he do once he touched her; where _could_ he touch her? She was moving so much, Lucifer was afraid if he snagged a tube he might hurt her. 

His hand hung in the space between them. Even though he had never been the disrespectful sort, he was so used to women just  _ letting  _ him touch their bodies. This time, Lucifer hesitated. He had no idea what the Detective deemed off limits. 

Lucifer knew from earlier, her hair seemed to be something he could touch but Chloe wasn’t some  _ dog  _ that would be fixed with a few pets. He scanned her body. Shoulders? Shoulders seemed okay, right?

As gently as he knew how, Lucifer splayed the pads of his shaking fingers on the Detective’s shoulder. 

She jerked away from his touch.

Lucifer stood frozen, his trembling hand dangling where the Detective used to be. 

“Chloe, it’s Lucifer,” he said with kitten softness. 

Lucifer tried to pull Chloe closer to him and his heart shuddered when she resisted.  

Not wanting to damage her further, Lucifer let go. He gave her another once over.  What woke people up in a heartbeat? Touching her had done nothing and trying to talk her out of her nightmares was ineffective. 

Lucifer searched the Detective’s face for an answer. 

She continued to toss and turn, trying to escape the personal Hell she’d been condemned to. Pain flickered across her beautiful features. Bright splotches of blush spotted her face and neck. 

Seconds dripped by like minutes and Lucifer knew he was taking too long. Trying to keep distance between himself and Chloe, he swung himself over the railing. Still careful not to crush her, Lucifer straddled the Detective.

“Hard way it is,” he mussed. 

He inwardly cringed at touching Chloe without her permission, but this was his last resort; the only idea he had left. If this didn’t work then nothing would. Lucifer’s mind had slowed with fear because for once, he had no escape plan. If he lost Chloe he would be... _ nothing.  _ Eternity would mean nothing again. It would go back to being boring and hellish and so  _ empty. _

He gripped her shoulders again. Like before, Chloe fought him but, this time he refused to let her escape. Ever so slowly, Lucifer pulled her up from her pillow and into a sitting position. With his hands still holding her up, he moved them up her body to let them cradle Chloe’s face firmly. 

“Chloe listen,” she tried to yank her head away. Lucifer’s hands tightened, squishing her cheeks harder than intended. “ _ Listen.”  _

“You have to wake up, alright? I can’t help you unless you wake up. Chloe, darling, I know you’re frightened but you need to stop fighting me.”

Chloe froze.

Timidly, her red-rimmed eyes cracked open. 

They slowly swept over Lucifer, who kept her face smushed between his palms.

As the blue orbs made their way up, Lucifer’s brows rose higher into his hairline. 

His heart echoed through the room. Chloe was awake. Chloe was  _ safe.  _ The hollow feeling that had been resting in his stomach all morning, filled with chilly waves of relief.

Lucifer’s seemingly eternal exhaustion faded as they both breathed heavily into the silence.

Chloe’s eyes met his. Lucifer’s face softened. His hands on her face loosened, but he was still afraid to let go. Mindlessly, he thumbed soft circles against her jaw.

Lucifer stopped shaking.

“I-Lu--” tears gathered at the corners of Chloe’s eyes. Seeing her in more pain drove a nail through Lucifer’s heart. He pulled her into a protective embrace.

“Shh you’re alright,” he hushed.

Chloe whimpered into the base of his throat.

Her breath against his skin made Lucifer’s voice catch. Swallowing tightly, he allowed himself to rest his chin on the crown of her head. 

They both relaxed into the other, feeding off of their shared relief. 

Lucifer found his fear to have vanished. His heart was slowing and he could practically feel the dark circles forming under his eyes. But none of that mattered to him because Chloe, the only mortal whom he would endure Hell for, was safe.

“You’re safe,” Lucifer echoed his subconscious. 

He felt the Detective’s fingertips through his shirt as they skimmed over the planes of his body. A heavy sigh escaped her and she melted further into him.

Lucifer let her silent sobs soak his already ruined shirt. 

Her body quivered under his weight. He picked his chin up off of her head. Realizing that he was still straddling her, Lucifer softly shifted off of her to rest on the edge of the bed.

He readjusted himself so he could still hold the Detective and not be completely on top of her. 

Chloe plastered herself against Lucifer, as if she was still afraid. The legs that he was so scared of crushing had folded. 

Lucifer drew in a tired breath and Chloe curled closer to his chest. 

If he hadn’t known her himself, Lucifer would have thought she had been deprived of attention her entire life judging by the way she was clinging to him. 

Her muscles shook and he wished he could see her face. 

“Care to tell me what it was you were dreaming about?” he whispered into her hair.

The Detective shrunk under his words. Her hands had stopped roaming around his chest and her breath caught. 

“It was just Malcolm, it’s not a big deal.” 

There was a strain in her voice that didn’t go unnoticed to him. Lucifer knew there was much more of it than that. The part about Malcolm alone, raised a few flags in his mind. If that maggot was still causing her pain...he squeezed her tighter. Well, he’d make sure that  _ never  _ happened again. In fact, the moment he got back to Hell, Lucifer was going to find his miserable soul and make sure his demons tore it apart.

As long as Chloe was under his care, she would never be unhappy. 

There was just an unscratched desire to _make_ her happy. Even without his wings, Lucifer would hang the stars again if she asked.

Speaking of unhappiness, he brought his attention back to her nightmares.

Gingerly Lucifer peeled himself off of the bed and adjusted the wrinkles in his clothing. “Look,” he petted her hair “I’m going to grab something for the car, alright? Something to help with...this.” He gestured to Chloe with his free hand.  

Before he could pull away, she snagged his wrist. “Wait.” 

Lucifer waited.

She wouldn’t meet his eyes; almost like she was embarrassed. “You’ll come back?” 

“Of course I will.” he said in near disbelief. The unsaid remark of  _ why wouldn’t I?  _ hung in the room. Lucifer was almost hurt by the fact that she thought he was going to up and leave while she was ill. 

Satisfied with his answer, she let him go and with one final glance, he escaped into the hall. 

Despite her otherwise dismissive attitude, Lucifer had seen a certain terror in her eyes that he knew well. They were full of a very real sort of fear that only followed nightmares. He’d seen it in Hell and he saw it staring back at him in the mirror. Her fears may be human ones, but the panic they caused was hellish. 

He stepped a little faster as his mind relived the ordeal. 

Breezing through the doors they had ran through just a few hours before, he had his heart set on drowning the Detective’s demons.

Lucifer hadn’t been able to fix the Detective the night before, but this;  _ this  _ he knew how to fix. Especially after it was something that could have been prevented if she had only asked.

Unlocking the Corvette, he opened the passenger door and began digging through the glove box. He always kept a copy in the car, just in case. There was also one in the drawer of his nightstand and another in the guest bedroom. Lucifer wanted to be reassured where ever it was he ended up.

Feeling the edge of the binding brush against his fingers, Lucifer grabbed a book from the stacks of legal and a few not-so-legal papers. He was about to tuck it in his jacket pocket before he realized he wasn’t wearing his jacket. 

Lucifer blinked, fighting off a sudden wave of confusion. 

He guessed whatever artificial buzz the caffeine had provided was finally taking its toll.

Shaking himself, Lucifer relocked his car and headed back inside.

He slipped past doctors and nurses and even kept a weary eye out for Dan on his way back to Chloe’s room. 

The original secretary had finally been replaced with a fresher looking one. Lucifer chalked it up to the fact that  _ she  _ hadn’t had to drink the awful machine coffee.  

Lucifer turned the corner with a devilish grin tossed her way. He was feeling better already.

When he finally returned to the Detective’s room, it looked lighter than it had since he had first been showed to it. The Detective sat in the same place he left her, toying with her IV. When she turned towards the sound of his footsteps, she offered up a sleepy grin. He shot a rare soft smile back at her.

“So the nurses told me you haven’t left since we got here last night,” she remarked, amusement tingeing her words.

“Gossipy bastards.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. Nurses--couldn’t take them anywhere.

He covered the distance between them in four easy strides. With a flourish he handed over the book to her.

He watched nervously as Chloe turned the worn softback over in her hands.

In his time on Earth he’d found there were only a few ways to get rid of nightmares. About half of them had to do with sex, which he enjoyed, but this one was secretly his favorite. 

“This is poetry.” she raised a brow at him. 

“Correct, Edgar Allen Poe to be specific. The best way to get rid of nightmares is to read about someone else’s,” He fiddled with his shirt sleeves. “Or you could read it to stave off boredom, either way. If you don’t want it…”  

Something in him hoped the Detective  _ did  _ want it. There was a silly kick in his stomach with each stroke she ran over the book of poems. 

He didn’t  _ hope  _ she liked it, he  _ needed  _ her to like it. 

That book held more of him than any other object. Each copy varied in the small details; the one in his bedroom was annotated in his silky handwriting, the guest room’s was dog-eared to his favorite pages, and this copy: the Corvette’s copy, had Milton in the margins.

The anticipation bit at Lucifer’s heels. Chloe had been silent for too long. 

Oh Father, he’d gotten this wrong hadn’t he? 

“No, no of course I want it; it’s very sweet of you, but I’m exhausted.” Her blue eyes pleaded up at him to understand.

“That’s marvelous, I’ll just read it to you.” He said immediately, completely at her mercy. 

Oh how the mighty fall. 

If only five years ago he knew that he would be putty in the hands of some  _ human.  _ Sighing, he wondered just how he let himself get into this mess. 

Lucifer wiggled his fingers at Chloe until she handed him the book. 

“Why are you so needy,” she snarked sleepily. 

“Because if I wasn’t you wouldn’t pay attention to me.” Lucifer chuckled darkly, thumbing through the worn pages.

He went to sink back into the chair next to her bed. It shouldn’t seem possible, but it felt more uncomfortable than before. Lucifer crossed and uncrossed his legs, trying to get comfortable again. How he had survived its horrors this long was beyond him. 

“Lucifer.”

He glanced up at her demanding tone. “Hmm?”

“I’m going to regret this, but just get up here before I change my mind,” she patted the empty space next to her. 

Whatever remark he had lined up on his tongue dissolved in an instant. For all the times he imagined the Detective inviting him to bed it never went like this. There was no teasing undertone, no sexy edge, just an invitation. A tired one at that.

Lucifer rose from his seat once more. As he had done not but twenty minutes ago, he crawled up onto the bed and stretched out next to Chloe. He tensed in the tight space, book pressed against his chest. As far as touching went, the rules were completely lost to him. Instead, Lucifer decided to let her make herself comfortable.

Chloe didn’t seem to mind his unusual silence, though. She pressed closer against his side, tangling their legs together and covering them up with the blanket from the end of the bed. Snuggling further into him, Chloe opted to use his shoulder in place of her pillow. It was as if she were so worn out, she couldn’t bear to hold it up on her own. The same eyes that had been so expressive a moment ago now were heavy lidded and hazy. 

Her hair was soft and the loose strands teased his exposed neck. And she was so  _ warm.  _ Not in the stuffy way the room had been, but warm like the late morning rays. Lucifer felt his own eyes droop. Just this once, he’d let himself be comfortable. 

Returning his attention to his book, Lucifer scanned the pages for something the Detective would like.

He scored past the Milton he’d scribbled in so long ago, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted. There were a few marked places:  _ Evening Star  _ and _ The Red Masque of Death  _ that Lucifer riffled through as well. Still he couldn’t seem to find the right poem. 

Leafing through a few more pages, he came across one that was devoid of scrawls in margins and creases in the corners. Lucifer smiled when he saw what was printed on it.

“This is one of my favorites,” he told the Detective. 

She gave a weak sound in response, burying her head deeper into the juncture between his shoulder and neck.

Softly Lucifer began reading, “ _ It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabel Lee.”  _

He lost himself to the lull of the words and Chloe’s soft breathing. 

It was the type of poem that rolled off the tongue; the words slid easily over Lucifer’s exhausted mind. 

Just as he finished the first stanza, Chloe had nodded off. But even in her sleep she radiated warmth and contentment. Lucifer had never felt more at ease since his Fall. 

Nobody had ever trusted the Devil; it just didn’t work that way, but this perfectly  _ imperfect  _ human was curled up in his side anyways. 

That was why Lucifer found such a peace in Chloe. She was so flawed and yet he found himself looking past it.

“ _ The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, Went envying her and me.”  _

In Heaven, Lucifer had never been this happy. Even his Father’s warmest love was cold compared to the affection on Earth. 

He felt his body relax further into sleep as the Detective and his’ shared heat flowed through the room. Lucifer’s head rested on top of hers as the mattress beneath them turned to silk.

The moment was somehow sweeter than divinity itself.

“ _ And so, all the night-tide, I lay down by the side Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride, In her sepulchre there by the sea--In her tomb by the surrounding sea.” _

Lucifer had all but muttered the last line before surrendering to sleep and Chloe’s calming presence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like every time: many thanks to my beta for dealing with my needy ass. The poem I used in this chapter is Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe; literally my favorite poem of all time.


	5. All Too Different

Dan felt like he was being watched. Not in the cop’s intuition way, but in the paranoid way he’d felt during the painstakingly long months Malcolm had been brought back to life for. 

Just resting in the corner of his eye was a shadow. It lingered while Dan was at his desk, followed him in and out of the precinct, and he even felt its presence lurk around his apartment. And whenever he thought he was going to catch it, there was a flicker of light and the shadow was gone. Even if he never caught it, he hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something was tailing him.

Even as Dan got in his unmarked Charger he caught a flash of his shadow; this time in the form of a nondescript black car. But for the first time all day, he ignored it. Now he had much more pressing matters: making sure a certain club owner wasn’t harassing his wife. 

Knowing Lucifer, Dan doubted the man would still be there. After all, it  _ had  _ been almost seven hours. There was no way he and his ADHD hadn’t found another woman to amuse him by now. Dan scoffed at that. It was probably that secretary that had been eyeballing him all morning. If only Chloe saw what he saw. 

Lucifer Morningstar cycled through women faster than Trixie did presents on Christmas. Especially, it seemed, if said women were bi-curious and named Brittany. 

What Chloe was too blind to see was that to Lucifer, there were millions of her. There were millions of other blondes who would worship and adore him. Chloe was nothing special to Lucifer, she just another pretty face to inflate his ego.

That was what made Dan the maddest. Chloe was not a stupid woman, she should know better than to let men like Lucifer flirt with her.

And Dan has told her this, time and time again. Was she doing this out of spite? It was almost like she was  _ letting  _ herself be blindly drug into a relationship with a man who would use and abuse her. Not to mention while she and Dan were still  _ married.  _

Still frustrated, Dan turned into the hospital parking lot. He didn’t even bother searching for Lucifer’s car. Dan didn’t want to know if he was here or not. As soon as he stepped onto the asphalt, he let all thoughts of Lucifer flew out the window as they finally shifted over to Chloe. 

While he’d been in HR, the hospital had called to tell him that she was out of surgery. Dan, of course, had then gotten held up by every time-waster in the county. It seemed like his new case almost  _ wanted  _ to stall him until three. He rolled his eyes at the thought of interrogating that suspect again. But work was work and Dan was lucky to even have his job after what happened. He couldn’t just skip out on a day of work just to hang around an unconscious Chloe only to have her wake up and order him out. No, it was better just to put work first. She was stable and she was in the hospital’s care so nothing could go  _ that  _ wrong.

It was then he realized a familiar gloom no longer rested on his shoulder. The shadow was officially gone. Not hiding:  _ gone. _ He hadn’t realized until now that whoever had been following him, had stopped. He’d been too caught up in his thoughts to notice. It made him both shudder and sigh in relief. 

Shaking himself out of his trance, Dan made his way to the doors. Now wasn’t the time to be overthinking things.

The first thing he noticed was that the secretary had changed. The exhausted brunette had been been traded out for a perky redhead in black scrubs. She greeted him pleasantly as he approached the desk. 

Dan shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “Ah, hi, can you tell me what room Chloe Espinoza-Decker is in?”

It still stung that Chloe had chosen her maiden name. Actually,  _ Lucifer  _ had chosen it. Dan tried (and failed) to ignore that small detail.

“Ms. Decker is in room 203 and is currently taking visitors. May I help you with anything else?” The woman glanced between him and the computer monitor. 

“No, that’ll be all, thank you.” Dan pulled himself away from the desk.

She smiled dutifully at him before returning her attention back to her keyboard. 

Dan let out a breath as he made his way in the direction of Chloe’s room. He tried to reassure himself that Lucifer would be long gone by now, but his mind flashed a memory of the torn look in the club owner’s eyes. It had haunted him the rest of the day, their empty depths bored straight into his soul. Up until that point Dan didn’t know that Lucifer was even capable of emotion, let alone strong enough ones to garner  _ that  _ look. 

It was in that moment that Dan realized Lucifer got what he wanted for a reason. Not because he’d whine or throw a fit, no, it was because he would just  _ take  _ it. 

That was what made him so dangerous and that was why Dan had to intervene before it was too late. 

He tried to shrug off the weird feeling as he slipped past the nurse’s station. Chloe’s room was just up ahead now. Dan silently ticked off the numbers in his head: 201, 202, 203. 

He prayed Chloe was awake so they could finally get a conversation in. God knows it’d been forever since they’d actually talked. Maybe now they’d get their problems worked through instead of just running away from them. But when he walked into her room his heart froze. 

Chloe lay slightly propped up in the hospital bed wrapped in a thin blanket. Her face reminded Dan of before their separation and how exhausted she looked after working a night case. She would crawl into bed, barely able to take her own shoes off. A few times she even fell asleep in her clothes. But even if she fell asleep instantly, Chloe would find a way to cuddle him. 

Dan closed his eyes, trying to hold on to the fragmented memory. When he opened them, the image shattered because cuddled up next to his wife was  _ Lucifer.  _

Both of them were in a deep sleep. The bed, obviously not meant for two people, had caused their limbs to tangle together in order to fit. There was no sign of the coffee cups and legal documents that had cluttered the coffee table that morning. The club owner was dressed in the same clothes as that morning, except he looked... _ younger. _ The tiredness Dan had seen in Lucifer's face had drained away. 

It was then Dan realized Chloe’s face looked nothing like he had remembered. Where his memory of her was hollow cheeks and tired eyes the Chloe before him was glowing skin and softened edges. There had always been a fire to her but now it was a full on inferno. A label that dared anyone to challenge her and assuring them they would lose. Dan chalked it up to Lucifer rubbing off on her.

Speaking of different, next to him she looked like a completely separate person than the one Dan had married. 

But nothing grinded his gears more than how  _ happy  _ they looked together. Dan's teeth clenched. Fury bubbled under his skin at the sight of them in bed together.  _ It probably isn't the first time _ , he thought. 

That should be  _ him.  _ Dan deserved Chloe. The universe owed him his  _ life  _ back. He should be the one by Chloe’s side, not some playboy. 

Lucifer's head slumped heavily on Chloe's and he curled tighter around her. The softback resting on his chest, rose and fell steadily.

Dan felt his heart race. How  _ dare  _ he? That was his  _ wife.  _ If anybody should be comforting Chloe it should be  _ him.  _

He couldn't believe Lucifer thought he could just come in and just take his place. Hell, their divorce wasn’t even _finalized_ and Chloe was already sharing a bed with another man. 

Dan wasn’t going to stand for this.

He blinked away the red in his vision before marching further into the room. His anger flared up with each step he took, hands curling into fists. 

He grabbed the front of Lucifer's shirt and ripped him away from Chloe. Backed with adrenaline, Dan drug him from the bed.

The club owner gave a startled yell as he came crashing to the floor. The blanket that they had been sharing fluttered to the ground beside him. Before Lucifer could pick himself up, Dan punched him, sending him back onto the linoleum. 

And  _ God  _ did it feel good. Another wave of adrenaline induced euphoria crashed into Dan. He grinned wolfishly, if only he could have power over Lucifer like this all the time. 

But wait he could. 

Dan jammed his boot in the center of the club owner’s chest, slamming him back on to the floor.

His confidence skyrocketed at the sight of the arrogant asshole finally shaken. It didn’t last long, however.

Lucifer’s usual smile was now serrated with cold hatred. Dan felt every muscle in his body tensed through the sole of his boot and he pressed him a little harder into the floor.

But his confidence wavered when he reached Lucifer’s eyes; they blazed with so much fury that Dan could have sworn they flashed ruby. There was no hint of confusion or exhaustion within their depths. It was almost like Lucifer had expected him to show up. 

When they narrowed, his smile curled into one of condescension. That was when Dan realized his first mistake.  Lucifer was right where he wanted to be and Dan was _fucked._

“Good morning Daniel, skipping right to the chase I see.” Lucifer laughed humorlessly. “Well you have me, do the handcuffs come next? I do love early morning role play.” 

“What the  _ fucking hell  _ do you think you’re doing in _ bed  _ with my _ wife _ , Morningstar?” Dan growled.

“Well for one  _ supporting  _ her, Douche. What have _ you  _ been doing in bed with your wife?” his eyes widened almost cartoonishly wide, “Oh! That’s right,  _ nothing  _ because you’re getting a  _ divorce.”   _

Dan clenched his jaw and dug his foot deeper into Lucifer’s sternum. Lucifer grinned and silently begged for another swing.

Dan punched him again, hoping to wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

Lucifer laughed harder. “Come on, is that all you got? For all you know sleeping wasn’t the only thing we did!”

The bruises were blooming quickly on his pale skin and blood seeped from a small cut, but Lucifer was still smirking. His dark eyes swept a lingering look over at the dazed woman in question and licked blood from his lips. 

“You son of a  _ bitch. _ ”

Dan went to hit him again but his fist was stopped by something solid. He found Lucifer’s inhuman strength on the other end and his body went cold. He’d the heard stories of Lucifer throwing grown men through plate glass windows. It hit him that he could have stopped Dan’s punches whenever he wanted, just as he could probably throw Dan off. Still Dan kept his gaze trained on Lucifer’s face. 

Lucifer wasn’t grinning anymore. His blazing eyes swept over Dan with calculating precision, almost like he was _looking_ for weakness. Dan broke out into a cold sweat but held his  ground. He refused to surrender to the arrogant bastard. 

Damn when did it get so hot in here? It was like Lucifer’s laser-edged stare was boiling him alive. Dan flinched when Lucifer slowly levered himself up with his free arm. It was so silent that when the club owner began again it startled him.

“It’s been lovely, this little spat, but now let's cut the shit, Daniel. While you were off playing cop Chloe was here suffering. I may have hesitated when it came to watching her bleed out but I did not hesitate to stop her from screaming her throat raw.” 

Dan’s heart skipped. Chloe never did like hospitals, but did she really hate them that much to spawn a panic attack? He peaked at Chloe’s drugged and dozing form; curling into a ball without her bedmate’s support. No, Lucifer had to be lying.

“That can’t be true.”

“Keep you and your  _ conflicts  _ quiet or we’ll find out again won’t we? You want to know the reason your wife had to be comforted by another man? Because you don’t have the balls to put your bloody pride aside and do it yourself.” 

He snarled out the last line as he squeezed Dan’s fist tighter. It felt like the bones might break.

“Chloe sat  _ dying  _ in this fucking hospital and you did  _ nothing _ .  _ I  _ was the one who held her and  _ I  _ was here when she got out of surgery.  _ I  _ comforted her when she woke up screaming.  _ I  _ was the reason she could rest easily. But no matter because,  _ I  _ just want to sleep with her right?

“Let’s talk about you, Daniel. Are you really so jealous that you come in here, not to check on your sick wife, but just to see who she’s  _ fucking? _ I’ve known many dogs and maggots in my lifetime but never ones such as  _ pathetically low as you.  _ I’m here for Chloe and her wellbeing not some bloody booty call so let’s get one thing straight. You mean  _ nothing  _ to me, Daniel. If it were up to me you would be face down in a ditch somewhere and the only reason you’re not is sitting in that bed. So it’d be in your best interest to show her some respect.”

Dan stood stupefied. His boot let up slightly on Lucifer’s chest as he shoved Dan’s fist away.

“You’ve  _ got  _ to be kidding me!” a furious voice rang out from behind them. Dan cringed, he knew who that voice belonged to. Chloe must have finally pulled herself out of her morphine haze.

He turned his attention to his wife, who sat glaring at him and Lucifer. 

She was definitely a different woman than the one Dan remembered. The dark circles under her flaming eyes made Dan shiver and he realized his second mistake. He snuck a look at Lucifer, still trapped under his boot. The man on the floor gave him a smirk, knowing they were finally on the same page. 

Dan looked back at Chloe. She blinked her eyes, as if trying to clear the drowsy haze of the pain killers. Despite being in surgery that morning, she sat tall and ready to snap.

“I swear to  _ God,  _ Dan, if I could get out of this bed I would kick your ass!” Chloe growled. 

“But--”

Chloe jabbed a finger at him. “No buts! God, Dan we’re separated; Lucifer has as much--if not  _ more _ \-- right to be here as you do. It’s not your damn  _ right  _ to come in here and throw him out just because you think I’m screwing him. Stop beating the shit out of him and  _ get out!” _

“Chloe come on!”

Chloe raised her brows accusingly. 

Just as Dan was about to argue but a gasp interrupted him. Every head in the room swiveled towards the noise. A visibly shaken nurse clutched her tray of medicine, taking in the scene with wide brown eyes. 

They first glanced over at Chloe’s furious expression before making their way over to Dan and then finally dropping down to the floor and Lucifer’s bruised face.

“Mr. Morningstar are you alright?” she asked. 

Dan removed his boot, secretly relishing the stain it left behind on Lucifer’s white shirt. Under the nurse’s careful eye, Lucifer rose to his full height and adjusted his rolled cuffs. 

“I’m fine thank you, darling,” he replied curtly. 

Dan noticed Lucifer didn’t bother to put up his mask like he had for the receptionist. He wondered if it had anything to do with Chloe.

“Ms. Decker would you like me to call security?”  Chloe waved the nurse off. “No it’s fine, Dan was just _leaving,”_ she shot a look at Dan.

He huffed. He’d lost this battle. With Chloe’s burning gaze in mind, Dan left the room. And he didn’t miss the way the male nurses eyed him as he made his way back to the entrance. 

Dan couldn’t believe Chloe. He didn’t understand how she could defend Lucifer like she did. Everything he did was just part of his elaborate plan to sleep with her, yet still she refused to accept it. 

Not to mention Lucifer’s speech. ‘Here for her wellbeing?’ Dan doubted it. He didn’t think Lucifer had the capacity for such things. Kindness wasn’t in his repertoire unless it meant getting in someone’s pants. But that didn’t explain what he’d been doing with that book. The softback that was resting on Lucifer’s chest didn’t go unnoticed by Dan. Was that the comfort he’d mentioned; reading? Dan wasn’t sure.

Shaking his head to dispel the image of them in bed, Dan began to head home.

  
  


 

Lucifer rolled his eyes as the nurse tried to force an ice pack in his hands. He sat at the foot of Chloe’s bed while she looked him over. She prodded at his bruised jaw and he tried not to move as her fingers trailed over the tender skin. 

Dan hadn’t beat him as hard as his brother had on the beach and Lucifer had been a bit surprised. He didn’t have high expectations for him in the first place, but he’d thought Dan would have at least broken something. Lucifer would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad disappointed. 

Maybe disappointed wasn’t the right word to use for Daniel; infuriating was better.

It had taken all of his self control not to break every bone in his hand when he had the chance. Lucifer almost couldn’t believe his manners for someone claiming to be the good guy.

Lucifer had been sleeping rather peacefully until he was rudely jerked out of Chloe’s bed. After a millennia or two of being the Devil, Lucifer trained himself to wake up at a pen drop, but this time had been different. He’d never felt so at ease sleeping with someone else.

Sleeping next to Chloe had been some sort of religious experience. Lucifer hadn’t slept that well since his Fall. There were no nightmares, no pain radiating from his scars, just her. She was so relaxing and in the moment before he’d fallen asleep Chloe had been his everything.

No amount of drugs or anonymous sex could ever recreate the high Lucifer felt when he drifted off. It was something so bizarre that his body ached to taste it again. Chloe was dangerously intoxicating and if he wasn’t careful he might get addicted. But when had that ever stopped him before? What could another hit hurt?

Everything probably, his conscience supplied. 

Speaking of things happening, Lucifer felt like he’d ordered away the nurse a thousand times. What was with them and never taking no for an answer; he was certain it was offensive in some cultures. Definitely an annoyance in his.

“As lovely as I’m sure your nursing skills are my dear, I’m fine. You can go.” Lucifer urged the nurse once again.

She fiddled with her pen. “Mr. Morningstar please--”

“ _ Go.” _

With the ice pressed against his cheek, he regarded Chloe.

She stared back at him thoughtfully. Her blue eyes still smoldered with leftover fury, but the rest of her face was pale. A frown crept over her mouth as they trailed down to the dark splotches that decorated his jaw. 

He gave her a small smile, hoping to drag her attention away from his bruises. She refused to meet his gaze. 

“You didn’t hit Dan. He punched you and you let him, why?” Chloe’s voice straddled the line in between confusion and wonder.

Out of all the things Lucifer pictured her saying, that phrase left him speechless. He set the ice pack down to fiddle with his shirt cuffs. Dark eyes flitted over her, desperately trying to find the right words. 

“He wasn’t worth the punch.” Lucifer hoped she didn’t dig to far into it. If she knew that he didn’t punish the Douche like he’d wanted because of her, Father knows what might happen next. 

No, the less Chloe knew about it the better off everyone would be.

“Come on Lucifer we both know you can lie better than that.” 

Lucifer cringed inwardly at her tone. Sure he was on the receiving end of her interrogation voice all the time but never like this. Before she only used it teasingly. Now it felt like Lucifer was a suspect that had to be broken. 

He mustered a usual smile instead of an answer.

To his surprise, she let him get away with it. Instead Chloe she drew her legs up to her chest, trying to suppress a shiver. Lucifer caught it anyways. How could he not; for the past few hours she was all he could think about. 

Seeing his way out of the conversation, he pulled away from the bed. He tossed the ice pack on to the nearest chair. 

Ever so slightly Lucifer trailed his fingertips over Chloe's cheek. She leaned into the heat that radiated off his skin.

“You're freezing,” he switched gears. 

Lucifer looked around for the blanket, but it had disappeared from its spot on the floor. The nurse must have taken it on her way out. It had been stepped on, after all. 

He strode over to the cabinets and began to riffle through them. A stack of identical hospital issue blankets appeared on the third try. Shaking the top one out of its neatly creased lines, Lucifer made his way back to the Detective.

“You don't have to keep taking care of me you know,” she said, breaking their tense silence. 

Lucifer smirked weakly. 

He tossed the blanket over Chloe and tucked it in around her.

“I know.” 

It was a strange feeling, caring. A cruel, backstabbing emotion. It confused Lucifer beyond belief. He didn’t understand why anyone would intentionally reveal their vulnerability to another.

He learned the hard way: love was dangerous and loved ones were the reason. And most of all it was a weakness. But much like his pseudo-mortality, Chloe Decker found a way around that.

As much as he forced himself to avoid emotions, Lucifer couldn’t quite bring himself to hate the ones that she caused. Much like her attention, the feelings were enchanting. Overwhelming, sure. Did he sometimes feel like he was drowning in them: yes of course. But Lucifer felt nothing but pure hatred for so long that he welcomed the new sensation.

Drugs left him feeling hollow and not even Chloe could fill that void. Instead she gave him the next best thing: a distraction. A new obsession and a new drug of choice.

And as every addict knows, Lucifer knew it would kill him.

So what came out his mouth next surprised him.

“If you want anything else, tell me.  _ Anything  _ at all. Whatever you need, whatever you desire. Ask and you shall receive, Detective.”

She looked at him wide-eyed and skeptical. Lucifer motioned for her to spit out whatever she was rolling around in that head of hers.

“Lucifer--”

“ _ Detective _ .”

“Trixie. I want to see Trixie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes this one fought me. But here it is: finished. Ugh honestly this one was hard, but I'm glad it's over. A little less angst next time yeah? Speaking of angst, was it that hard to call that Dan was eventually going to find them? Either way, I'd love your feedback!


	6. Keeping Tabs is Basically Just Babysitting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up this isn't beta'd. My beta is having some personal things going on and so I'm giving her a break from having to worry about anything. Send her love and tell me if you find any mistakes. <3 More notes about my absence at the bottom.

The Detective’s ex was as boring as Lucifer made him out to be. Maze thought she would have liked him better when he was a crooked cop; at least then he might be a little less bland. He went about his mundane life perfunctorily and Maze concluded this was the worst hunt ever. 

She had been tailing him for four hours straight and there was nothing special about it. He didn’t even leave the precinct; he just haunted his private office and interrogated criminals. She wondered if her Lord was devising some new form of torture the way it was going. As petty as it was, it seemed like something he would do, especially with the way Lucifer was acting lately.

But Maze would give Dan some credit. He may not be as interesting as her usual haunts, but he was smart.

Whether it was intentional or not, he knew she was there. That much was apparent the way he kept throwing glances over his shoulder. A few times he’d even tried to catch her.

And because of that he was fun to play with.

It was easy to rile him up and she adored watching him struggle. Unlike his ex, he fell for her games easily. All Maze had to do was tempt him a bit and he would usually give her a stellar performance. A grin split from the corners of her mouth, thinking about the last time they crossed paths at Lux. Oh, the fight he put up.

Maze liked. Maze liked  _ very  _ much.

But sadly, her orders were clear: no fun, just tabs. And judging from the nature of the message, her Lord was  _ not _ in a lenient mood.

His anger normally would have been a great foreplay, but now it just irritated Maze. 

This wasn’t “keeping tabs”, this was babysitting. Hell knows she does enough of that already.

Blowing out a short breath, she checked the time. It was almost time to collect the child.

Maze glanced back at her target in dismay. 

He was on the move, of course,  _ now  _ he did something. 

She strained to catch what he was saying to his coworker. 

“Yeah, Chloe is in the hospital I have to go check on her.” Dan said a little too smoothly. 

It took a minute for it to sink in, but when the impact of his statement did Maze’s senses went into overdrive. 

Lucifer was still with his pet detective. Dan was heading to the hospital. If they ran into each other Lucifer would be pissed beyond belief and Maze really wasn’t in the mood to deal with one of his tantrums. 

She fired out a quick text his way.

_ Her ex is heading your way, have fun. -M  _

Creeping from her hiding place, Maze made her way to her car. She made sure to avoid being seen by the Detective’s ex as she slipped into the driver’s seat. 

Maze watched Dan make his way to his Charger. He glanced over his shoulder once again, sensing her watching him.

Yes, this one was  _ definitely _ fun to play with, she thought. 

She followed him for a few minutes more before taking the next exit.

Contrary to the prior activity, this ordeal was going to be anything but boring. 

Maze got to the child’s school ten minutes early. 

She stretched herself slowly out of the car to lean against the hot black steel. The shrieks of a few stray children rang in Maze’s ears. Inwardly, her body cringed. Much like Lucifer, she despised children. But more importantly, Maze didn’t understand them.

They were pure and perfect and  _ grabby.  _ If it were Lucifer, his OCD ass would have said they were sticky, but to Maze it was the touching  _ all the time.  _ It drove her insane. Why it was necessary for them to latch onto whatever was closest was beyond her. The little bastards were like leeches. Once they latched on, there was no use trying to pull them off.

That one especially applied to the Detective’s child.

Speaking of Beatrice, Maze thought she caught a glimpse of her just now. 

Beatrice trotted happily out the doors and into the sea of people. She stopped short at the top of the stairs. Her dark eyes darted around for a moment before they landed on Maze. The small grin that spread across her features blew into a toothy smile.

Maze returned the smile with one of her own and gestured to her car. (The BMW a courtesy of Lucifer, of course.) 

Beatrice’s face lit up. Her pigtails bounced excitedly as she raced down the staircase to the street. She latched onto Maze’s waist and grinned up at her. 

Maze tried to resist a shudder. There went her personal space. 

The longer she spent around kids the more Maze believed that they were at the bottom of the list of her favorite things.

The child began chattering at lightning speed, firing question after question. “What are you doing here, Maze? Are you here to pick me up; is Mom busy? Is she working with Lucifer?”

She squeezed Maze tighter.

That was another thing Maze didn’t understand about Beatrice. She gave her affection freely. Even when faced with the Devil and his right hand themselves, she embraced them all the same.

They were murders and tortures and yet Beatrice didn’t seem to mind. And that was what threw Maze the most. The child  _ cared  _ about them. Maze never had something like that. She was bound to Lucifer so of course she cared for him in some twisted way and he vice versa, but this was different. Beatrice gave her love without any hidden intention. She wanted nothing in return from Maze.

It made her head swim in confusion. She blinked once before plastering her grin back onto her face.

“Lucifer sent me, your mother couldn’t make it.”

She watched as Beatrice’s face brightened at her Lord’s name and then falling at her mother’s. Beatrice pouted and gazed up at Maze with sad eyes.

“Why not?”

Maze battled with the idea of telling the child. Last night she saw her Lord rush out the back entrance in disarray. Lucifer didn’t  _ do  _ disarray. In fact, she didn’t think he even  _ rushed.  _

She was so used to Lucifer being above it all, when reduced to that...that  _ thing  _ he was last night, it rang warning bells.

Fear was an emotion she recognized but never before had she seen it his eyes. Not even when he faced down his Father. But as he carried the limp form of his pet detective out of the club, Maze saw a look she would never forget. 

So when Beatrice asked, she didn’t know how to answer.

The child must have sensed her unease because she finally let go.

“She’s in the hospital.” 

Beatrice gasped. Unshed tears shined in her eyes. “Is she okay? What happened?” 

Maze patted her head awkwardly, trying to offer some comfort. “Your mother’s fine. She’s awake and asking for you. I’m supposed to drive you there.”

“Really?” She took a step back. Beatrice’s eyes slid over the sleek polished car eagerly. They still held a hint of worry in their dark depths but it was quickly smoldering away to excitement. The child went through a rainbow of emotions faster than Maze could do a line of shots. It made her feel nauseous just thinking about it. Why anyone would welcome that confusion was beyond her Hell-wired self.

Maze opened the rear door before the child could fit another mood swing in. “The faster you get in the faster we get to see her.” And the faster Maze could go back to her hunt. 

Beatrice bounded into the plush leather seats, tossing her backpack into the other empty one. Maze shut the door behind her and buckled herself into the driver’s seat. Pulling out of the school parking lot, she turned her attention to the strangely silent child.

“You’re unusually quiet, what gives?” 

Beatrice shifted in her seat but remained silent.

Maze gave her a look in the mirror.

Still, no change.

“Look, your mom’s fine, okay?”

Beatrice blinked blankly. “I know.”

“Well then what’s the matter?” 

Her big brown eyes bore into the back of her seat. Then for a split second they flickered over Maze and the dam broke. “Today Tommy said Daddy should be in jail. His dad’s a lawyer and Tommy said that’s what he said. I told him that Daddy wasn’t in jail because he was trying to do what he thought was right. Tommy said I was lying. I wanted to kick him but I know Mommy can’t get away from work a lot so I didn’t.”

She exhaled loudly, as if it had been weighing her down. 

Maze tried to sort out what all just happened. She didn’t like kids, but the thought of her getting tormented made her stomach churn. Was this what happened when humans had “friends”? Maze had never had a friend before Beatrice. 

“Tell him to go to hell then.” Maze said flippantly, unsure of how to handle this situation. She wasn’t her parent. Nor would she want to be anyone else’s for that matter. No sugarcoating necessary, Maze thought. For Hell’s sake the child followed the Devil around like a puppy, she was sure Beatrice could handle her advice.

“That has a bad word in it though,” Beatrice protested. 

Maze scoffed. “Hell isn’t a word, it’s a place. Places can’t be bad can they?”

“I guess,” she sighed.

“You come tell me if you have a problem with someone. I’ll always take care of it, okay?” Another glance in the mirror.

“Yeah okay Maze,” Beatrice said halfheartedly.

That last thing surprised Maze. It came crashing, almost involuntarily, out of her before she could stop it. 

The weird feeling from a few moments ago bubbled up once more. It was too complicated for the demon to put a name to it. She couldn’t help but despise it.  

It was a strange desire to protect the child that Maze had really only ever experienced with Lucifer before. The demon felt responsible for her in some way. Like she wouldn’t know what to do if something happened to Beatrice. 

A naturally selfish creature at heart, Maze resented the idea of putting someone else’s needs before her own. It was an awful feeling and it left her feeling vulnerable.

But in its awfulness, Maze found herself welcoming the pain. It felt good to do something that wasn’t directly related to her Lord. And seeing Beatrice’s mega-watt smile didn’t hurt either. The girl adored Maze in the way others didn’t. While most looked at her as a slab of flesh, a puppet at their disposal, Beatrice looked at her like she was the sun. It was like she saw straight through her soul (or what little was left of it anyhow); saw all of it’s darkness and simply chose to only see the little sliver of light left.

That light reflected in her eyes too. Bright adoring gems, glittering with pure admiration. The child wholly and utterly accepted her as she was. And that terrified Maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so yes this is extremely late. I know. Writer's block and RL has boiled over into my writing time. Classes have started up again, I've been sick, and I have lots of other things that have required my immediate attention. I'm super sorry that this is so late and that it's so short. I hope that my motivation will return from the war soon! So yeah, this is low key trash and I know it. But hey, I'll take the comments anyways!


	7. King of Mr-I-Will-Do-It-Myself

Lucifer went silent after a brief explanation that Maze would be coming with Trixie as soon as her classes let out. He sat stiffly at the foot of her bed, flicking through his phone. His face darkened at whatever he was reading. 

The book of poems had returned to her side via Lucifer as well. Chloe sat flipping through the worn pages while they waited.

She traced a hand over Lucifer’s neat handwriting in the margins. She had been too tired to notice it earlier. The add-ins had been done in black ink pen, all with their own page numbers following directly after. Chloe thought it could have possibly been a book from Lucifer’s college days. The quotes were uniform and properly annotated in a way that made it look like an assignment. 

“What is this?” she prodded, turning the page towards him.

Lucifer stole a glance at her before returning to his phone screen. “It’s Milton.”

The name rang bells in Chloe’s head. “Like  _ Paradise Lost  _ Milton?”

“Yes.”

His unusual quietness was irritating. (Wow Chloe never thought she’d say that.) She was a detective, getting answers was her job. 

“What is it for?” 

Finally, Lucifer looked at her. He pocketed his cell and gestured for the book. Chloe gladly handed it over. Gently, he traced a thumb over the pages. She caught the way his eyes relaxed, even melted, into the words.

“Nightmares.” he finally said. He flipped through a few more before settling on a page.

Before she could respond, Trixie sprung onto the bed. 

“Mommy, Maze picked me up from school today!”

And there went her chance. Sure Chloe was relieved that Trixie was safe, but she felt cheated out of learning about what sat behind Lucifer’s mask. She was so _ close.  _ That book was an open invitation into Lucifer. If only she had a few more minutes, she might have been able to crack what made Lucifer  _ Lucifer.  _ He always seemed so lonely and the look he gave her when Dan had him pinned... Not to mention how he somehow had managed to handle her ex without throwing a single punch. Lucifer acted like nothing ever touched him, but these past two days seemed to rip all of his walls down. Chloe couldn’t get the warmth of his body and the softness of his voice when he crawled into bed with her out of her mind. There was a kindness that she’d never seen in him then. It was something in the way he read to her; he read like he played his piano: so full of passion and emotion that Chloe would have thought he was reciting a love letter.

She would never tell him, but Chloe had woken up some time during the morning. Lucifer had been fast asleep, his head resting on hers and his right arm thrown protectively over her stomach; fingers still lingering on the pages of poetry. Their legs were still tangled under the blanket from when she had stupidly arranged them. Damn her drugged out self. That was a risky move, throwing herself at him like that. But Chloe hadn’t been able to help herself and she smiled at it. Despite herself, she had been perfectly happy waking up next to Lucifer. The weight of his body had been oddly relaxing; he had basically taken half of her over at that point. Not only had his arm moved, but his entire center of gravity had seemed to shift to be closer to her. 

After soaking in the moment, Chloe had fallen back asleep. Now she was faced with the empty longing for never getting that “official” wake up with Lucifer. No, now they had to go back to how things were, just like they did when she had drunkenly thrown herself at him the first time. But she supposed she would have to deal with it later. Trixie was here now. 

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Chloe pasted on a smile. “Did she? That was nice of her.” She met Maze’s eyes in silent thanks.

“Maze also said you got hurt! Are you okay; what happened?”

“Mommy just got a little sick is all. Just like the time you got the flu. I’m okay Trix,” Chloe reassured, pulling her into a tight hug to prove it. 

“Why is Lucifer here; did he come to see you too?” she asked innocently.  Chloe stuttered. Her eyes drifted over to where Lucifer still sat, now talking quietly to Maze. He glanced over at them when he heard his name, but distractedly turned back to his bartender. 

Chloe watched them for a second. She watched the way Lucifer fiddled with the pages of his book: a telltale sign of his anxiety. Maze stood with her arms crossed, in what looked like annoyance or patience, Chloe couldn’t tell. But whatever it was, it had them both uneasy. She turned back to her daughter’s wide eyes.

“No, monkey. He’s the one who brought me here.”

“Really?” she gasped in disbelief. 

Chloe nodded.  She didn’t really understand Trixie’s fascination with Lucifer. He generally avoided her at all costs yet she still seemed to adore him. For whatever reason, Lucifer and Maze were Trixie’s idols. If she wasn’t so confused about it, she would have thought it was a little cute even, considering the worst fit people for children ended up being an eight year old’s superheros. 

Before Chloe could stop her, Trixie surged towards Lucifer. She launched herself into his lap and he flinched when she moved to hug him.

“Thank you, Lucifer!” Trixie chirped, blissfully unaware of the latter’s terrified face.

“Yes...you’re welcome. The hugs really aren’t needed, spawn,” he said awkwardly.

Chloe suppressed a chuckle as he shot Maze and then her a distressed look. Maze looked at Lucifer like he had gotten the plague.

No, neither her or Lucifer were ever having children. And if they did, well...Chloe sent a silent prayer that never happened.

She let him suffer for a moment longer before ordering Trixie off.

She pouted and tightened her grip on Lucifer’s waist. Chloe was way too tired for this shit. She shot Trixie a look and finally she reluctantly let go of him. Lucifer visibly sighed in relief. He began his normal ritual of smoothing the wrinkles out of his ruined shirt. That was another thing Chloe had noticed.

The first time she had awoken, after Lucifer had left to grab his book, the nurses came to her bedside with sly smiles. She hadn’t doubted what they said about Lucifer staying, but the impact of it never hit her until now.

His usual Prada was laced with deep creases and Dan’s boot print stood out starkly against the off white fabric. A splotch of her blood on his shoulder here, messily rolled sleeves there; he was a mess. Even his hair hadn’t escaped some mussing. His usual slicked back, product ridden style had transformed into a curly black mop.

Why hadn’t Chloe seen it before? He hadn’t just stayed; he had  _ torn himself apart for her.  _ Lucifer Morningstar did not ask for help. He was the most stubborn man she had ever met and probably will ever meet again. The king of Mr-I-Will-Do-It-Myself. Yet here he was.

Chloe vaguely remembered the panic creeping into his voice has they ran into the ER and the way he demanded the poor secretary for help. 

Lucifer sacrificed his beloved pride for her safety and that was something that she couldn’t ever pay him back for. 

Chloe watched as he rose from her bed, leaving his book resting on her legs. Something caught his attention as he turned to acknowledge some unseen force behind her.

She had been so caught up in herself that she hadn’t noticed the nurse who had resurfaced from the depths of the hospital. It was the same brown-eyed one from before.

“Hello I see we’ve gained a few faces,” she smiled cheerfully, her voice much less terrified than before, “However I need to please ask you to leave for a few minutes while we run some samples and tests on Ms. Decker.” 

Lucifer opened his mouth in protest but the nurse turned to Chloe and cut him off. “It’s just to make sure you’re healthy, of course.” 

Her heart sagged. She hadn’t even gotten ten minutes with Trixie. Hadn’t they run enough tests already? In the past few hours, she’d be pricked, prodded, sliced open, sewn back up, and oh the list went on. All she really wanted to do was go back to sleep. No it wasn’t just that; she wanted to go to sleep in her  _ own  _ bed, in her  _ own  _ house with her daughter.

“But--” Lucifer tried to begin again.

Chloe silenced him with a reassurance. “It’s just a few minutes, I’ll be fine.” 

Lucifer’s face fell as Maze began tugging him out of the room. Trixie stayed on the bed.

“I just got here,” she protested.

“Go with Maze and Lucifer, okay baby? The nurses just want to make sure I’m alright,” Chloe gave Trixie another hug before pushing her away, “Be good.”

“Come on child, there’s chocolate cake down in the cafeteria,” Lucifer called from the doorway.

Chloe was pretty sure that was a lie but it got her daughter’s attention right away. Trixie bounded off the bed and towards where Maze and Lucifer waited. She waved as they disappeared back into the fluorescent labyrinth of hospital hallways. Maybe now she could sleep. 

Yes, Chloe thought, it was time for another nap.

  
  


 

Lucifer traced the now familiar path of halls towards the cafeteria with Beatrice flouncing happily in front of them.

“So any news on the Douche?” he asked Maze.

Maze shook her head. “Nothing really important. I see you didn’t get my text in time.” She gestured to the bruises on his jaw.

He scoffed. “It was just a light beating. I stopped him after the second punch.”

“You’re going soft.”

“I’m the Devil.” He shot her a glare to put her back in her place. Why did he create her with attitude? As if his hands weren’t full enough with the Detective, now he had to deal with a pissed off demon.

“I saw the book Lucifer, we both know what that means.” Her frown deepened.

“It means  _ nothing  _ Mazikeen,” he snarled fiercely. Lucifer matched her stare, smashing down the urge to flash his eyes at her.

“Whether you like it or not, Chloe is changing you. Don’t run back to me when she finally breaks you. You know I can’t fix broken things, only torture them.”

Lucifer tore his eyes away from Maze’s. She was right, they both knew that. What Maze didn’t know was that the Detective had already broken him.

He’d tried to stop whatever it was that the Detective did to him, oh Father knows he’d tried. Everything that could flush her out of his systems he’d tried; sex with blonde models, coke, nothing worked. No, the Devil was addicted to the Detective. He got one taste and suddenly it would never be enough. Just  _ being  _ with her wasn’t enough, no, he needed to touch her. Feel her skin against his, save that smile just for him, be  _ his.  _

“That’s what I thought,” she sneered. 

Lucifer sighed, suddenly feeling his age.

They reached the cafeteria in silence, save for Beatrice’s mindless chatter. Maze must have sensed his exhaustion because she began herding the child over to the pastry counter. Lucifer followed, still in his daze. 

“Can I have that one?” Beatrice pleaded, pointing to a chocolate cupcake behind the glass. 

“I suppose if it’s what you desire,” Lucifer replied, already thumbing through his billfold. 

“Don’t you want anything?”  His shuffling stopped. He glanced at Maze in silent question.

“Just add two of those cookies to the order,” she directed the cashier to the sugar cookies next to the cupcakes.

The boy--he was still a boy in Lucifer’s book--tallied up their things and handed them Beatrice. Lucifer left a ten on the counter and instructed him to keep the change. 

As they walked away, Maze fished the cookies out of the paper bag and held one out for him, eyebrows raised.

“You and I both know I don’t need to eat,” he dismissed coldly.

“Yes you do, I don’t know if you’ve looked in the mirror lately but you’re started to look like Hell--literally.” She waved the cookie at him again.

“Mommy says you should eat even if you don’t feel good because it’s good for you,” Beatrice chimed in from below them.

Both pairs of dark eyes fell on the child. She smiled shyly around her cupcake.  “You should listen to Maze, Lucifer.”

He may not like children, but Lucifer couldn’t exactly say no to the Detective’s child. He sighed again before taking the pastry in defeat. “I suppose you’re right child.”

Maze gave him a shark-toothed smile. 

“Is Mommy going to be okay, Lucifer? She always says she’s okay, but sometimes I know she’s lying because her smiles are all sad. She had a sad smile this time too.” Beatrice told him quietly. 

By this time, they were sitting at one the empty cafeteria tables. The child looked up at him with big pleading doe eyes. Lucifer felt Maze tense next to him. 

“I’m not sure it’s too early to tell,” he answered truthfully before taking a bite of his cookie. Usually he had a sweet tooth but Beatrice’s heavy eyes made it turn to cement as he swallowed it down. He finished it under the watchful eyes of Maze and Beatrice.

“Can she come home today?” 

Lucifer shrugged. “Again, too early to tell, child.”

“Why do you call me child; I have a name you know,” she giggled.

“Yes, but you are a child, are you not?” 

Beatrice shrugged, “I guess.” She finished the last bite of her cupcake. “Are you gonna have kids, Lucifer?”

Lucifer choked and Maze threw in head back in laughter. Beatrice looked between them in confusion. Still sputtering, Lucifer busied himself with fixing his shirt buttons.

“I can’t have children, darling. Neither can Maze,” he explained after clearing his throat.

“Why not?”

He raised his brows in bitter amusement. “I just wasn’t made that way.”

She frowned. “Are you sad about it?”

Lucifer cocked his head to the side, studying the child across from him. No one had ever asked that. Well, it wasn’t like he’d ever told anyone that he was sterile anyhow. He supposed he never thought about it being a sad thing that he couldn’t procreate. Humans seemed to make such a big deal out of it, but to him it was just fact. His Father did  _ not _ want another Nephilim incident, so the archangels were all sterile. Plus what would he do with a sticky incompetent being anyways? They were like storms in bottles; let them loose on anything and next thing he knows, his flat is trashed. No, he settled on, children were not for him.   

“No, I’m glad. You fill my dance card up plenty,” he said finally. 

At that, she giggled. Then she turned to Maze and asked her the same question.

Maze snorted. “Like Lucifer said, you are enough for me too.” She leaned back in her chair. “So what? Are we hanging around in here or making our way back?” she asked, effectively dropping the topic.

“Can we go back, please? I want to see if the doctors are done,” Beatrice said, butting into their conversation once more.

Lucifer balled up the pastry bag and pushed in his chair. “Fine by me.”

Beatrice leapt from her seat. Maze pulled herself up slowly and lazily milled over to them.

The walk back seemed longer than the walk to the cafeteria had been. Lucifer mindlessly hummed along to a forgotten piece of music. The food had put him in a better mood, but he just wanted to get back to the Detective now. As they walked down the last hallway, a set of nurses hurried by them. 

Lucifer payed them no mind, this  _ was  _ a hospital after all. Beatrice hadn’t even paused in her skipping. But when they rounded the corner, Lucifer’s stomach dropped and the cookie suddenly didn’t agree with him anymore. The nurses they had seen moments before were rushing towards a familiar room: 203.  _ Chloe’s  _ room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THIS IS SOOO LATE I'M SO SORRY. I have so much going on with school and other activities this was some of the only free time I've had in months. Not to mention my old friend, Writer's Block was poking it's ugly head back into my life. Bt now hopefully I can get back on track! Many thanks to my beta who drug me through this chapter.


	8. Death By Pen

Lucifer didn’t even feel his feet begin to move faster. One moment he was perfectly fine and the next he was rushing to Chloe’s room. Faces and shouts blurred together. The fear he thought he felt not even a day ago blinded him. 

He snatched the first nurse he saw by the arm.

“Room 203-- what is happening?” he demanded.

The nurse shrugged Lucifer’s hand off. “Sir--”

“Don’t  _ sir  _ me. Tell me  _ what  _ is going on.”

“I’m not sure--” Lucifer’s rage sparked. He grabbed the front of the nurse’s scrubs and drug him closer.

“ _ Not good enough.”  _

Before he could punish the incompetent man, Maze grabbed his arm hard enough to bruise. Lucifer snarled as the nurse scuttled off.

“ _ What  _ Mazikeen? Did you not see I was busy?” He hissed through clenched teeth. He didn’t even try to hide his anger this time. Instead, Lucifer made an effort to shove it in her face. 

“If you keep tormenting these humans they’ll never let you see Decker, do  _ you  _ see,  _ Master?”  _ She drew out the title like a sneer, spatting his anger right back into his face. 

Her resistance took Lucifer aback. He tried to pull away from her, but Maze kept a steel grip on him. Keeping her voice low, she yanked him closer. Lucifer could feel her nails digging into his skin.

“Stop making an ass of yourself and take care of the kid. Do you think Decker wants her here to see this? Wants to see  _ you?  _ Falling apart like a dumped prom date? You’re the Devil, get a  _ grip  _ on your balls, man up and  _ move on.”  _

With a razor sharp look, she gave his arm a harsh squeeze before shoving him away. Lucifer sent her a look as equally as menacing. 

He caught Beatrice hiding around the corner and sighed. Why did the Detective have to make his life so  _ complicated?  _ He forced himself to walk over to the child. As if things weren’t bad enough now he had to deal with the spawn. The incompetent nurses and Maze’s defiance left him with a short fuse and Lucifer thought he might snap if she tried to lay  _ one  _ grubby finger on him. 

Lucifer stared coldly down at the child. She refused to look up at him.    

"Beatrice--” he began. There was a pang of new emotions in his chest when she flinched away. 

Lucifer wasn’t sure why it hurt him so much. Children meant nothing to him; sticky little things were too innocent for his taste. They were irritating burdens who only wanted to destroy his things, but Lucifer couldn’t help the bitter taste Beatrice’s watery eyes gave him. 

“Are you still mad, Lucifer?” she asked almost too quietly for him to hear.

The weight of her words seemed to drag him down. 

She thought _she_ caused this?  Lucifer knelt down to stare into her eyes.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m not mad at you, if that’s what you’re asking, darling,” he said curtly. 

“But you were yelling at the nurse,” She drew back, as if what she said was wrong, “I was scared.”

There. 

That weird feeling again.

What did Linda call it?

Guilt. 

Lucifer was feeling guilt.

In the flurry that was Chloe’s relapse, he let himself turn into the monster he swore he wasn’t. 

If Lucifer didn’t stop himself now how could he say he was any better than how the Bible portrayed him? 

He looked--really  _ looked _ \-- at Beatrice again. With her red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Not to mention the fear in her eyes. Of  _ him.  _ Lucifer wouldn’t allow himself to take his anger out on an innocent child. 

His rage slowly drained out of him. He felt his shoulders slump in defeat. “Yes, it wasn’t one of my finer moments; I let my temper get the better of me. I’m sorry if I scared you, Beatrice.” 

“It’s okay. You were just scared because Mom got sick again. What’s wrong with her, Lucifer?”

Lucifer couldn’t meet her eyes because he couldn’t answer her and it terrified him. “I...I don’t know,” he stammered. 

In an attempt to compose himself, he stood back up. “But I do know you shouldn’t have to see whatever it is. I’m calling your father to pick you up.”

Beatrice gasped and latched onto his waist.  “But I want to make sure she’s okay!  _ Lucifer please?  _ I don’t wanna go home, I wanna stay with you and Maze.”

“You can come back later. This isn’t a debate, darling.” He knew peeling her off of him wasn’t an option so he reached for his phone instead. Ignoring her pleading, Lucifer searched for Daniel’s number. The painful memory of the Detective punching it in for him welled up before his eyes. He tried to shove it back down as the dial tone began. 

He just hoped for both of their sakes, Dan would pick up. Lucifer couldn’t even bring himself to go home and change his clothes Father knows he couldn’t take care of a child right now, or ever for that sake. But especially not right now, not when he felt so damn useless. 

The rings paused.  A voice surfaced from the static. 

_ “What Lucifer?” _

  
  
  


A shriek cut through the silence of the Espinoza household. Dan felt a wave a dread wash over him. He hadn’t even been home an hour, he prayed to God it wasn’t the station again. It felt like lately all he ever did was work. Reluctantly, he glanced over at the caller ID. There, printed in bold letters it read: Lucifer. 

He groaned. Somehow this was worse than the station calling him. The last thing Dan wanted to get was a call from Lucifer. As if the asshole hadn’t already ruined his day enough, now here he was not two hours later. If he was calling to rub his victory in Dan’s face, Dan was going to kill him. Literally  _ kill  _ him. With the damn pen he was using the sign those papers.

Dan let another ring slide by. He didn’t have to answer the phone. Honestly, it was at the bottom of the list of things he wanted to do. But there was an odd nagging in the back of his mind that said differently.

Lucifer had never actually  _ called  _ Dan before. A few months ago, he begrudgingly let Chloe put his number in his contacts.  _ For emergencies  _ she’d said. Dan couldn’t help but feel a touch of fear slide down his throat as he found himself picking up the call.

“What Lucifer?” Dan barely kept his tone level. 

“I need you to come pick up your spawn.”

Dan felt the floor drop out from under him. Today was Chloe’s day to pick her up. 

“ _Shit.”_ Chloe was in the hospital--with Lucifer. “Okay yeah tell Chloe I’ll be at the school in ten. _”_

“She’s not here,” he said in the same dead voice he started their conversation with.

“What do you mean she’s not there?”

“I--” there was a pause, “something has...come up.”

Dan started to get irritated. “Lucifer, stop being vague.”

“Daniel, you are the  _ last  _ person I want to come to with this.”

He sighed; he was getting nothing out of this conversation. Dan thought it might be easier to reason with a brick wall than talk to Lucifer. “Tell me what  _ this  _ is.”

“It’s the Detective...she--she’s relapsed.”

The phrase hung in their heavy silence. Dan felt the cold weight of panic settle on his shoulders. There was an uncomfortable edge to Lucifer’s voice that didn’t sit well with Dan. Even when he was a sleep deprived, caffeine junkie Lucifer’s confidence had never wavered. This time, Dan couldn’t help but hear the emptiness of his tone.  

“Beatrice shouldn’t be here for it,” he continued on. Lucifer drew in a shuddering breath, as if it pained him to speak, “...And I can’t take care of her; not now. Not when I haven’t even bothered to wipe the blood off of my clothes.”

That sent Dan into the practiced calm he’d perfected through years of police training. “Is Trixie at the hospital with you?”

Small questions. Simple yes or no’s. It was clear Chloe’s relapse sent Lucifer spiraling over the edge Dan thought he didn’t have. And if he pushed Lucifer too far, he might lose it.

“Y-yes. I had Maze bring her. Chloe’s orders.”

Chloe’s name rolled off of Lucifer’s tongue stiffly. It sounded almost foreign in his lilting accent. Dan had only ever heard Lucifer address her by her detective title. It felt almost wrong, sacrilegious even. It didn’t help calm Dan’s growing nerves.

“Alright I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said, trying to talk his way around Lucifer’s clear shock.

Lucifer lowered his voice down to a rasp. “No  _ now. Please.  _ I can’t compose myself long enough to drive or even  _ leave.  _ Daniel, I can’t leave _ her.” _

There was no doubt as to who the her in question was. Lucifer’s pleading shocked him to the core. Here was one of the most powerful men in LA,  _ pleading  _ and admitting defeat. A man so miserable and broken up that he turned to his rival for help. 

Gone was the mockery and the charisma and the life in his words. And gone was the anger Dan harbored for him. 

“I’ll be there in ten,” he reassured Lucifer. A clink on the other end told Dan that he’d hung up.

Dan grabbed his keys and was out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short but that's life guys. I constantly apologize to my beta because I am needy (and self aware) so here's my chapter-ly apology to her for being myself. Anyways if you find any mistakes let me know because I was putting this up while watching the new Sherlock (AND OH MY GOD THAT PLOT TWIST?!) I hope the next chapter will be longer; this was so short because Writer's Block and I felt bad for not putting anything out in a while. So thus: short chapter. Also there is a small Easter Egg as to what Chloe's new illness was, did any of you find it? Let me know in the comments. ;)


	9. Maze Is Much Cooler

 

Dan always had had a few choice words to describe Lucifer Morningstar. Egotistical, pretentious, asshole; really the list went on. But he’d always supposed there was more to the club owner than just shallow smiles and mindless sex. Sometimes he would catch when his charming smiles twisted into ugly snarls or how his eyes bubbled with more than lust. There was something about the man that just seemed off. Dan wasn’t sure what  _ exactly _ made him feel that way, but there was certainly more to him than he liked to let on. 

Watching Lucifer talk to the nurse outside of Chloe’s room all but proved Dan’s theory.

He stood as he normally did; with a type of stiff-backed elegance that only came from cold, old money childhoods. Except there was nothing elegant and expensive about the scene at all. 

Lucifer’s clothes were heavily creased and stained. The boot print on his chest and bruises on his jaw that Dan had been so proud of earlier, now seemed to sneer at him in disgust. A sharp kick of regret drove through his stomach. 

The bruises were too purple, the dirt stain too prominent for Dan to be proud. What he had done wasn’t justice, it was brutality. 

He scoffed at his mounting shame. What the fuck was wrong with him? When had he begun to tolerate and feel _pity_ for Lucifer Morningstar?  

From his spot around the corner, Dan studied the shadows under the club owner’s eyes. They weren’t dark and sickly like he would have thought, but more subtle and haunting instead. A passerby wouldn’t have noticed them, the hospital staff might not even notice them, but Dan did. And for some reason they unsettled him. 

But that wasn’t what tripped Dan up the most about the situation, because clinging to Lucifer’s waist was none other than Trixie. 

His long musician fingers tapped out melodies on the top of her head, in a way that a stranger might think it as endearing. 

But Dan wasn’t a stranger and the motion just seemed out of place for a man who believed dogs and children were one in the same. Still, Dan watched as Lucifer let Trixie press her cheek against his hip and squeeze him tighter than what would be classified as polite. 

A shudder ran up his spine and Dan finally made his way towards them. Honestly, the whole thing was so surreal that it made him feel like he was in a parallel universe.

As he neared the group, he caught snatches of the nurse’s speech.

“--s Decker is receiving blood and extra electrolytes just to make sure she’ll remain stable. The nurses believe the shock was caused by a mixture of fatigue, prior blood loss, and some sort of severe stress. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you Mr. Morningstar?” the nurse asked him almost accusingly.

Before Dan could stop himself, the question tumbled from his mouth. “Chloe went into shock?” 

The nurse turned with bland amusement painting his features, to look at Dan. “Yes Miss Decker went into shock about twenty minutes ago. Fortunately it was an easy fix and she should be stable now,” he glanced from Dan to Lucifer. Dan didn’t miss the way his eyes traced the path from his bandaged hand to the bruises that stained Lucifer’s skin.

“As I was just asking Mr. Morningstar, do you know of any kind of stress Miss Decker could have had between 9AM and 12PM?”

Lucifer shifted his empty stare from the nurse to him and Dan couldn’t help but get another chill.

“Panic attack. Mid morning.” 

Even though the words were meant for the nurse, he caught the double meaning. 

The nurse was oblivious to the threat, of course, and scribbled it down on a bleached white note pad. He gave his required send off with forced cheer, but not before making note to tell them both that as soon as her IV finished, Chloe could be released. Without another word, he disappeared into the mass of medical staff, leaving Dan alone with Lucifer and Trixie. 

They stared each other down for a few tense moments until Trixie interrupted it.

“Daddy can we stay here?” 

Dan tore his gaze from Lucifer’s and to his daughter. She still clung to the other man like a lifeline. Her hands twisted into the expensive fabric of his shirt, adding new pathways to the roadmap of older wrinkles. 

“No baby. Look I know you want to make sure Mommy is okay but I’m sure Lucifer wants to get some rest too.”

Trixie’s face twisted into a pout and refused to let Lucifer go. _ “Please?” _

There was a tiny pang of jealousy that rang in Dan’s chest at the sight of his daughter clinging to another man. No amount of newfound respect for Lucifer could ever make that jealousy go away. Trixie was his  _ daughter. _ He loved her so much. It was supposed to be his job to protect her, but lately all he seemed to do was hurt her.

“Trix,” he said, sterner this time. 

_ “No.”  _

Lucifer laid his palm flat on her head. “Darling as much as I love seeing you rebel against your paternal figure, your father is right.”

“But what about you? Maze said  _ you _ don’t look like you feel good,” she turned to look at Dan again, “Daddy, Lucifer’s sick too. We can’t leave him here.”

Lucifer sighed. Dan could tell his patience was wearing thin. 

He tried to cajole her again. “Lucifer is only going to get better if you let go, honey. He can’t get better if you won’t let him go anywhere.”

“Daddy we're at the hospital, they can help Lucifer,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but if we leave he'll be all alone! Nobody should be alone when they’re sick.”

Lucifer was about to open his mouth when a familiar shadow silenced him with a hand on his shoulder: Maze. 

A spark of recognition flashed behind Dan’s eyelids. 

_ “You,”  _ he accused.

Maze raised her brows in amusement. “Me?”

Memories of glances over his shoulder, dark tinted windshields, and paranoia flooded his mind. The whole time it was just Maze. She was his shadow that afternoon in the precinct; watching. He suppressed a shiver.

“You stalked me all afternoon, what the f--” he saw his daughter’s eyes widen, “ _ freak,”  _ he quickly amended. 

“What a valiant save, Daniel,” Lucifer muttered sarcastically. 

Dan ignored him, but he couldn’t help the crashing wave of relief the remark brought. He would take snarky asshole Lucifer over solemn, unnerving Lucifer any day. There was something reassuring about the way the robotic respect was slowly changing back into his purposefully annoying personality. It was weird; Dan never thought he would miss basically  _ anything  _ that Lucifer ever did. 

Maze shrugged from her spot at Lucifer’s side. “I’m impressed that you noticed in the first place, I wasn’t even topless.” 

“Why in God’s name were you following me?” he asked in utter disbelief. 

Lucifer carded a hand through his hair in annoyance “Saying things in his name isn’t going to get your bloody answer any faster, you know. His name isn’t some premium code.”

Maze barked out a sardonic giggle. 

To Dan’s slight horror, Trixie joined in. 

Dan was not the religious type. His parents were strict Catholics and ever since he was eighteen he’d always held a small kernel of resentment for all of the forced mass sessions. But that did  _ not _ mean that he needed Lucifer’s own traumatic experiences rubbing off on Trixie; it was bad enough that his parents frowned upon Chloe’s atheism. He didn’t need Trixie going to Nana’s house and telling her that she was best friends with Satan.

Oh God, Dan could just  _ hear _ the wine glass dropping out of his mother’s hand now.

Maze gave one last snort before sobering up. “Anyway I came out to tell you that Chloe’s awake.”

Immediately, all humor drained from Lucifer’s eyes. His shoulders strained with an invisible weight and the remaining mirth seemed to drain away. 

Trixie, on the other hand, lit up like a Christmas tree. She smiled slyly up at Maze, who returned it with one of her own wolfish grins. 

Finally, Trixie pulled away from Lucifer and both him and Dan let out a breath neither of them knew they were holding. 

Immediately, one of Lucifer’s tics took over and he began smoothing out the creases in his shirt. Apparently it took more than exhaustion to shake that level of OCD.

Trixie sighed dramatically and tugged on Lucifer’s wrist impatiently.  

“Beatrice--” he said, clearly caught off guard. 

“Come  _ on  _ you’re taking too long,” she whined and tried to pull him in the direction of Chloe’s room. 

He offered a few weak protests, but ultimately allowed himself to be swept away by the seven year old, leaving Maze and Dan alone in the hall.

Maze grinned and arched a mocking brow at him. 

Dan glanced around. “What?”

The bartender just shrugged, “Nothing, just wondered if you were getting your panties in a twist over Lucifer and Chloe again.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

Maze glanced at his bandaged hand and gave him a look.

Dan covered it with his other hand. “Look,” he said defensively, “I got mad the first time--”

“And the second, and the third--”

He glared at her and continued with a little more force, “--but I don’t hate the guy.”

Maze crossed her arms and looked him over. “Could have fooled me.”

Seeing how the conversation was going to end, Dan scoffed and brushed past her and stepped into Chloe’s room. 

The scene he walked into stopped Dan in his tracks.

Lucifer hovered around the foot of the bed, his hands fiddling with his cuffs as he paced back and forth. 

“You’re certain you’re all right?” he asked timidly.

Chloe sat propped up on the bed with Trixie pressed into her side. 

“Lucifer, come on you know the answer to that.”

He took an uneasy step closer to her. “Humor me Detective.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m  _ fine,  _ alright? It was just shock, it happens to everyone.” 

The rest of the conversation fell on deaf ears. Dan stood stupefied. Lucifer Morningstar did not do quiet. He did not act soft and he  _ certainly  _ had never been described as timid.

His shoulders were slumped, the perfect posture seemingly thrown out the window.

It was all too surreal for Dan when he realized that in some way or another Lucifer had always been like this. Maybe not to this degree, but the traces of it now stood out in his mind. 

Before, Dan didn’t have a word for the emotion that he often saw in Lucifer’s eyes. He’d always passed it off as something simple, like lust or annoyance, but now he knew that it was far from that. 

Whether he liked it or not, Lucifer Morningstar cared for Chloe Decker. And for some reason, Dan was okay with that. It was as if the proverbial glass had finally shattered. 

After this blew over, Chloe was going to sign the divorce papers. Then he would sign them and that would be it. There would be no argument, no dramatic change of heart. This chapter on their life would be over in the matter of a week. The rings would be taken off and hidden away and slowly the rest of Chloe’s things would disappear from their house. And soon enough their house would turn into his house; wedding pictures swiped off shelves and the dress gone from the closet.

It would be polite smiles over break room coffee and late night cases. They would fall into comfortable silence but at the end of the night, Dan would go home alone and Chloe would go home to Lucifer. 

There would be secrets whispered between silk sheets that he would never know and new recipes he’d never taste. Maybe there would eventually be a new ring on her finger; a new last name pasted over his. 

Dan would never know because this was where their lives diverged. 

And for the first time since the separation, Dan was okay with that. 

Lucifer was an ass, but deep down Dan knew he would take care of both Chloe and Trixie. 

Maybe that was why he found the strength to clear his throat.

The conversation in the room halted as three sets of eyes turned towards him. Unconsciously, he covered his bandaged hand once more.

“Uh, I’ll stay here if you want to go get her release papers,” he said to Lucifer.

The man in question stopped his pacing and glanced at Chloe. She looked confused, shifting her gaze from him to Dan. Clearly Lucifer had forgotten to mention him. 

Silently, Lucifer gave her one final lingering look before squaring his shoulders, giving his cuffs one last tug, and heading for the door.  Before he disappeared completely, he turned back towards Dan with a small, thoughtful smile. 

“Thank you.”

Dan just nodded, knowing that somehow, he’d made the right decision. 

Turning back to Chloe and Trixie, he sighed. 

Trixie gave him one of her bright gap-filled smiles but the guarded expression Chloe had worn since Dan had come in hadn’t left her face. 

He offered her a bitter smile that she didn’t return.

With the same precise steps Lucifer had worn into the linoleum, Dan made his way over to Chloe’s bedside.

Her blue eyes were still misty with sleep, but the question sat plainly in them. The last time she had seen him, he was a punch away from being escorted out of the hospital. She had every right to be questioning him.

“Hi,” she finally said, letting her questioning tone bleed through.

Dan couldn’t stop his smile from falling, “I’m sorry.”

Chloe’s frown deepened and she patted Trixie’s arm. “Trix-babe would you go see where Maze put your backpack?”

“ _ Mommy,”  _ she whined, clearly not forgetting the last time she’d left the room.

Dan tried to step in once more. “Daddy just needs to talk with Mommy for a minute, okay? It’s going to be boring anyway, I bet Maze is way cooler.” He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Dan watched as his daughter crawled from the bed with a heavy pout and didn’t say another word until she was out of sight.

“Dan look if you’re here to give me more shit--”

“I’m letting Lucifer take you home.”  It took everything he had to keep his voice low.

“What?” All of the fire in her words had vanished.

Dan drew in a deep breath.

“Chloe I know we thought that maybe the separation would help us--help  _ me, _ ” he amended, “But it didn’t did it? I love you but we can’t keep  _ doing _ this. It’s not good for us and it’s definitely not good for Trix. I feel like if we don’t stop it now--” his words caught in his throat, “we’ll just end up hating each other. I care about you too much to let us get that bad.”

Chloe’s eyes were wide, “Dan--”

“I wasn’t there. I was never there when I should have been,  _ I know.  _ That’s why I’m letting you go. After this blows over I’ll sign the divorce papers, I’ll move on. And that starts with letting Lucifer sign you out. I think he’s a dick, but he’s a dick who tore himself apart to take care of you. Hell, even now I wasn’t here when I should have been. So Chloe,” Dan’s voice broke, “I love you, but that will never be enough to fix us.”

Chloe sat speechless, unshed tears glimmering in her eyes.

Finally, she gave a stiff nod, “I think I’m ready to let you go too.”

With shaking hands, Dan pulled his ex wife into a tight embrace, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. 

“Bye Chloe,” he whispered into her hair.

“Bye Dan,” she rasped back.

As Dan pulled away, he felt an imaginary door close on the dream that was his marriage and nightmare that was his separation. But not without opening a new door that would lead to his bittersweet future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys I'm so sorry it's taken me this long!!! I've been super busy with my health, family health, vacation, and about 5 million other things, but I did it! A big shoutout to my beta because I deprive her of sleep about 5 days of the week. This was thrown in in a rush so be sure to check my paragraphing!


	10. Serenade (Epilogue)

Signing the release papers was almost as cathartic as dragging himself up the beach five years ago. What had only been about fifteen hours of panic had felt like an eternity for Lucifer. As if Amenadiel was purposely slowing time just to watch him suffer.

At the last pen stroke, a weight lifted from his shoulders until only a few shadows of fear still lingered in the corners of his mind.

Walking through the door of Chloe’s apartment made them claw their way back into his thoughts.

She made no move to shrug her jacket--which Lucifer had dutifully returned to her-- off her shoulders. She was still deathly pale; only a faint sheen of medication-induced blush painted her features. 

Chloe made her way through the apartment, eyes flitting from thing to thing, but never stopped walking. Lucifer followed her all the same, still in a caffeinated haze and still afraid to let her out of his sight. He didn’t even pay attention to where his feet took him until they bumped against the bottom stair of the staircase.

“...Lucifer what are you doing?” she asked, voice quiet, but demanding. His mind couldn’t help but conjure the Detective he once knew. The one he never had to fuss over.

Lucifer willed his voice into what he hoped was innocent. “Are we not going upstairs to change?”

“ _ I  _ am, you’re not.”

He gave a laugh that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Darling, I’ve seen everything there’s no need to be modest.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Modesty has nothing to do with it, my sanity does,” she said, letting the annoyance drip through her words. “I haven’t been alone since yesterday afternoon. You, the nurses,  _ Dan,  _ have all been hovering over me and if I go one more second with your sad eyes staring at me like I could keel over any second now, I’m going to go  _ insane.  _ So  _ please,  _ Lucifer, it’s five minutes.”

When he tried to open his mouth to protest, Chloe gave him a firm, but not angry, shove. 

Lucifer stared up at her, his imagination running wild with death-filled scenarios that could happen the moment that he left her side.

He must have been lost in the illusion longer than he thought because her eyes softened and her palm slid from his chest. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I promise I’ll be fine,” she tried to reassure him.

She gave him a soft smile before disappearing up the rest of the stairs.

It took everything in Lucifer’s power not to follow her. 

He sighed and wished for a bottle of whiskey and maybe a cigarette or two. Something to just take the edge off until he was certain she was fine. 

Lucifer stared blankly at the bundle of clothes in his hand.

They’d made a quick stop at Lux for a change of clothes. Lucifer hadn’t failed to notice that someone had cleaned up his master bath as he’d made his way towards his closet.

Unconsciously, his fingers had skipped past his suits and vests. They’d pushed aside Armani and Prada alike until they’d come to rest on cheap cotton stuffed in the very back. He hadn’t really paid attention to which shirt he’d pulled off the hangar nor which of his few pajama pants he’d swiped. 

Lucifer chuckled at them now.

With Chloe banishing him from the second level, he saw nothing left to do but drag himself to the guest bathroom. 

Lucifer splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror, unsure of just who exactly stared back. The reflection boasted sleepless eyes, the were clothes dirty and loose-fitting, and hair unkempt. He looked so vulnerable in the dim light of the bathroom, all devilish traces seemingly scrubbed away and replaced by a thin film of fear. 

Smirking bitterly at his pathetic emotions, Lucifer began to undress. He folded his clothes from the day before back into their neat creases and tutted at their filthiness. His fingers drew over a long dried blood stain from when Chloe’s head had fallen against him, and then suddenly, he didn’t mind how dirty they were.

If her smile was the mud, her laugh the creases, and her happiness the blood; Lucifer would gladly do it over again. Whether that meant letting his emotions drown him or donning cheap pajamas for her comfort, he would sacrifice his sanity for hers in a heartbeat. 

He finished slipping into the worn Bowie shirt he’d mindlessly grabbed from Lux and stepped back out into the living room to find Chloe making her way back down the stairs.

A tight smile graced her lips when she saw him.

“See, perfectly fine,” she said.

For the first time, Lucifer let himself believe her.

Now out from under the glaring hospital lights, her skin had lost the hollowness he’d watched crawl up her cheeks all morning. 

She brushed past him and headed towards the kitchen, bundled in one of those oversized sweaters that she loved.

Lucifer turned to see her trying to put a few castaway dishes back into their rightful cupboards.

“What do you think you’re doing, Detective?”

“I’m cleaning up my house because my partner is being overprotective and my roommate doesn’t know how to put things away.” 

He watched as she tried and failed to stretch to the top shelf of a cupboard. Sighing, Lucifer stepped behind her, took the plate from her hand, and put it away for her.

Chloe turned to face him, back pressed into the countertop. 

“I like you like this,” she reached out, as if to trace the  _ BOWIE  _ block letters on his shirt, “Easier to read without that Armani suit of armor.” 

Lucifer gave her a small smile. 

“How about a deal then? I dress like this more often if you sit down and stop trying to get yourself killed.”

“I wouldn’t call internal bleeding  _ my  _ fault,” she said slyly.

Lucifer returned her look with a smirk of his own. “No, but if you keep this up surely it will be.” 

She rolled her eyes in what he thought was both irritation and jest.  _“_

_ Fine,  _ just as long as you agree to stop doing--” 

Lucifer willed his eyes to soften.

“ _ That.” _

“Fine.”

_ “Fine.” _

“Good.”

_ “Good.” _

“ _ Right,”  _ he offered a hand to her and she took it with a silent protest on her tongue.

He lead her out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

With a heavy sigh, he sunk into the corner of the couch, putting up the footrest in the process. It was lumpy and uncomfortable, but Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to care. His eyes fell closed and made a mental note to buy her a new one on Monday.

“I think they have more comfortable sofas in Hell,” he paused, brow furrowing. “No, I’m certain they do, because I did the decorating.” 

He heard Chloe hum in sarcastic agreement and felt her sit down next to him.

Lucifer forced himself to keep his eyes closed as the seconds ticked by in agony. Finally, she blew out a defeated breath and curled into his side.

His eyes snapped open.

Her cheek rested delicately on his shoulder and Lucifer could feel each breath against his skin. 

Blue eyes avoided his brown ones while Chloe drew her legs up to her chest and then let them spill into his lap. 

She said nothing and neither did he.

The silence was comfortable, just as it had been in his flat all those hours ago. It was a warm and pleasant honey-coated buzz that drowned the tragedies of the night in gold. 

“Luce?”

The nickname dripped from her lips like a prayer and Lucifer’s breath hitched.

He willed his blood to burn hotter, if only it meant to hear his name on those amber lips once more. 

He swallowed thickly. “Mhmm?”

Chloe snuggled further into him with a yawn, the energy she had before seemingly dying away once again.

“Will you read something again?” 

Lucifer willed himself to reach for his battered paperback off the side table. His fingers blindly shuffled the pages, his mind still all too focused on the Detective in his arms that had tamed the Devil in his soul.

For her, he would run through a thousand hospital corridors.

The very thought terrified him beyond belief. It was a pathetic shell of whatever had crawled up the beach five long years ago. 

For four of those, Lucifer had distracted himself with booze, drugs, anything to dull the emptiness in his heart. At the thought of the fifth year, he couldn’t help the grin that split the corners of his mouth. Standing over the broken body of Delilah had ripped the hole that he’d desperately tried to close, wide open all over again.

Then there was  _ her,  _ the Detective, stepping under the lights of Lux and looking unamused by what had satisfied so many others. She had asked for nothing, but Lucifer had given her everything: a piece of him that no one else had had before.

Yes, he thought, for her,  _ anything.  _

His concentration snapped as his fingers stopped on a page.

Lucifer knew without even looking at the page that this was the right poem. His eyes skipped over the title; he knew which one this was the moment he laid eyes on the smeared Milton in the corner:

_ So heavenly love shall outdo hellish hate. _

The line was fitting, Lucifer supposed. He’d long forgotten which nightmare had driven him to scribble those words on that specific page next to that specific poem. 

None of that mattered, though. What  _ did  _ matter was curled up against his chest, still cold and exhausted from her brush with death. 

Chloe rested a hand flat against his chest, directly over his heart, dragging Lucifer back into reality. He tried to ignore how the heat of her palm made it skip and shudder. Pulling in a shaky breath, he turned back to the pages of poetry.

_ “So sweet the hour, so calm the time, I feel it more than half a crime,”  _ he began softly, _ “When Nature sleeps and stars are mute, To mar the silence ev'n with lute.” _

Chloe smiled sleepily and willed the couch to recline back as far as it could go before urging him to continue.

_ “At rest on ocean's brilliant dyes, An image of Elysium lies:” _

Elysium’s perfection was cold compared to Chloe’s flawed warmth. Wrapped up in her embrace, Lucifer decided there was no other Heaven than in her arms.

_ “But list, O list,- so soft and low Thy lover's voice tonight shall flow, That, scarce awake, thy soul shall deem My words the music of a dream.” _

Chloe shifted on top of him, but Lucifer read on.

_ “Thus, while no single sound too rude Upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love.” _

Uttering the last line, Lucifer relaxed into the couch cushions. He lay breathless and at nothing and everything. 

“I--Detective?” he asked gently. Lucifer glanced down to see Chloe asleep on his chest. “Chloe?” 

When she didn’t respond, Lucifer sighed and closed the book as quietly as possible, placing it back onto the table. He stared at her sleeping form for a few seconds, absentmindedly carding his fingers through her hair.

Chloe’s breathing was peaceful for the first time that day. 

Lucifer turned his attention to the ceiling. He imagined if he looked hard enough he could see his Father’s disapproving gaze from behind the dusky golden gates of Heaven. He flipped the apparition off, knowing full well his Father might never see it, omniscience be damned. 

A dark smirk burst across his lips and he pulled Chloe protectively against him.

“You can’t have her yet, you son of a bitch.”

Lucifer brushed a ghost of a kiss on her forehead. Chloe stirred and shifted into his touch.

“Goodnight, Chloe,” he murmured before following her into the soft in-between realm of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys its been a year and two weeks in the making!! I'm done!! I'm so happy that this is finished!! I'm kind of on the fence about the ending, but tell me what you guys thought. Big thanks to anyone and everyone who read, commented, and subscribed; it meant a TON to me. Also special thanks to my beta for sticking with me ;) The poem Luci reads is Serenade by Edgar Allen Poe (do you think I have a favorite poet yet?) and the Milton scribbled in the corner came from Paradise Lost. Again, many thanks for loving and supporting this piece! I will now go take a nap just like deckerstar is.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so this is a multi chapter. Honestly I don't have a schedule for this so you know, I'm sorry ahead of time. Don't worry about the plot though, I have it planned just not written. Anyways, as a person who is deathly afraid of getting sick this was hard for me to write. That being said, I'm still kinda proud of it. Oh, and for the people like me who live for drama, you're in luck! I'm pulling Dan into my next chapter. And a thousand thank yous to my beta for doing this while she was sick herself. And as always, comment and show your starving writer some love!


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